My own Words

Flash backs

One summer night, no one was over. It was a very Pease full night, until I closed my eyes and started remembering thing. I remembered when I was young being a perfect little angel, and now having really bad anger issues and wanting to fight and yell at my parents all the time. I would back talk, hit myself in the head cause I wanted it to stop, and I would take my anger out on everyone. I had to go to therapy and take pills, but I never took them. I was always afraid of pills, I never ever liked them. I hated myself so much that I hated the world. What did the world do to me. Nothing. It was my fault I felt that way my fault that I thought being depressed and angry was ok. It was my fault. When my gram passed away I just remembered crying my eyes out every time I herd mammy. But I was happy she was gone, because she got to be in a better place where God is, up in heaven. I no that for a fact because out family is a Christian and she was never ever mean to someone. Even though she was gravely ill, she went to church every sunday. I remember watching her pass away in the hospital bed in front of me. When she finally went, I stream of bright light went right through the window on her. I will never forget what I saw. It was amazing but very sad because we missed her, but happy for her because she doesn't have to deal with the pain that she was in anymore. Even though she never complained about how she felt, we all knew she was hurting.