Salvation in the Secular Age {MH/GD}

{One of Us Will Die Inside These Arms}

Please play "The Sound" by the boys, as well as "Naked as We Came" by Iron and Wine. The next part of the party will be up tomorrow! Also, golly JEEZUS look how cute young snapback Matty is!

{Claire}

two weeks later.

The twins' first birthday party cost more than all of my combined twenty-three birthday parties, but it was something spectacular. Though I'd helped make the arrangements, everything was sprung from the mind of my dear friend Tinsley, and she and Ross' backyard was a scene to remember.

There was a bounce house, in bright primary colors, a magician, a face-painting station, a small petting zoo, and multiple giant floaties in their large outdoor swiming pool. The guests ranged from close personal family members, friends, people from the boys' record company, their manager, the works.

I was trotting Maisie on my hip as Tinsley was talking to the catering company. Ross was talking to the band's manager, his hands moving slowly but adamantly, as he nursed a beer. Chelsea was directing guests where to put the (elaborately expensive) gifts, and Adam and Harper were playing with Millie.

Admittedly, I was having fun. Things had been a bit awkward for my relationships with the men in my life. Owen couldn't make it to the party because of work, but I didn't sweat it; his presence would only make things more awkward, and I felt like I was going to suffocate with guilt around him lately.

My father had been distant as well, still disappointed in his little girl's subject of choice for her first published novel. I hadn't spoken to Matty since the party, and I was dreading seeing him here. He was late, naturally.

The party had been in full swing for about half an hour, and Tinsley's stress was going down a little. I was wearing a one-piece denim romper that Maisie was tugging at as her big blue eyes saw one of her favorite people in the world.

"Un-ka, Un-ka!" Maisie reached her chunky little arms up.

Un-ka meant "Uncle", of which the twins had three: Matty, Adam, and George. My eyes went to the petting zoo, where George was standing, petting a pot-bellied pig, wearing some ridiculous outfit that looked like a popcorn bag.

"Do you want to see your Uncle George?" I asked her, bouncing the precious girl on my hip and patting her on her tu-tu bum.

Maisie clapped her chunky hands together and smiled a drooly smile. I paced toward George, holding a nervous smile.

To make things more awkward, I'd had to explain to Owen the damn photo of myself leaving George's apartment the morning afterward. This was the second installment of "leaked" photos, and I was beginning to feel scared, to say the least. I had no idea who could have taken it. Perhaps it was just random fans; some of them knew where George and Matty lived. But something inside me told myself that it was someone I knew, someone close to me.

George and I, and Owen and I had had long discussions after that nght. Nick was the person who'd showed me, as it was on the fan Instagram nearly moments after it was taken. I'd lied, straight through my teeth, to Owen, saying nothing happened, that I had drank too much wine and fell asleep on George's couch.

Owen seemed to have bought it, though the guilt was consuming me. He still fancied George, then again who wouldn't? The lines of our friendship were still blurred, even after all this time. I had to stop drinking and smoking around him. But part of me knew what would happen; I just didn't expect that I would enjoy it so much.

When George told me he was going to taste me for hours, he wasn't lying. Though we had again dismissed the incident as a drunken mistake, George and I had promised each other two things. One: I would no longer wear leggings around him or get drunk to have an excuse to flirt with him. Two: He could never, ever talk to me in that low bedroom voice again.