Salvation in the Secular Age {MH/GD}

{I, I Wanna Marry You, Said I, I Adore You}

1. LOOK AT NOODLE. Look how fucking cute he is. I know this isn't a new photo, but it WILL NEVER GET OLD OKAY?!

2. This book is almost over, you guys. I haven't decided if I'm going to split the finale into one or two chapters, but either way, the end is near. I'm so overwhelmingly happy with all of your comments and love. Enjoy this short but important chapter.

{Matty}

Mornings with Claire were now, then, and will always be the single most important and precious aspect of my life. It was almost as if the existence of the morning itself personified her--or maybe she personified it. The sun would always come, no matter how dark the night was. And no matter how dark my life was, no matter how dark I myself was, Claire would always be there, to shine her light and to make me tea and to walk about in her underwear and my shirts and make me fall in love with her over and over. Only lately, I had been the one making the tea, Twinings Earl Grey to be exact, because everything else made her vomit now that she was pregnant.

This morning was a very special one, though it wouldn't be fair to say that any morning with Claire was anything but spectacular. Everything was perfect: her body glued to mine, the curve of her spine against my navel, one of my hands stroking her hair and the other resting gently on her growing belly. The sun was out, lovely, soft and golden almost, and the snow was falling gently onto the busy streets of London on Christmas day.

I had figured it out before she told me she was pregnant. I'm almost certain that the night she called me to tell me to meet her in California, and I eventually put the facts together (vomiting all the time, mood swings, that minor detail when she had switched birth control and we hadn't used a condom) that I just sat on that bed in that hotel room in Phoenix and contemplated literally my whole fucking life and what everything in it meant. When I'd met her in the airport, that frightened, lost look on her face faded slowly, when her lips titled up in a smile and she stood still amongst the busy crowd, and I ran toward her.

I don't know why I ran, really, but I hadn't ran that fast since George and I were about fifteen and stupid enough to try to smoke a shit spliff far too close to a police station. But, still, I ran, exponentially fast, toward her, my lungs burning and my limbs tightening from the short, quick sprint. And when I got to her, her hair in a giant bun on top of her head and her face as white as a ghost but so, so lovely, I just stopped, mid-tracks, like I coulnd't move anymore.

She just looked at me pensively, her luggage behind her and a carry-on slung over her shoulder.

"Claire...." I was so nervous. "Love, are you....?"

She nodded her pretty face, makeupless and these adorable tiny red splotches she'd get when she had been stressed or crying. "I'm pregnant, Matty," she said in a whisper.

I stood quite still, and so did she, with everyone else moving about, rushing through their lives.

"Is..." I had forgotten how to talk, my fingers going to push my curls back and squeeze the empty foam cup of coffee in my hand. "Is...ehm," I cleared my throat. "Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous. Is it--"

Those hazel eyes widened and she cut me off. "It's yours, Matty."

Not George's, I'd already gathered, since I could do basic math.

"I know, I know it's mine darling," I said. "I-I was going to ask, is this what you want?"

Claire's eyes were watery now, and so were mine.

"I think so," she blinked away her tears.

And then I took her, one hand in her hair and the other on the small of her back, and I pressed her body to mine as firm as I could without breaking her. She was safe, I was safe, and we were kissing each other like it was somehow our first and last time, the tears on her cheeks transferring to mine.