Loose Change (Harry Styles Fan-Fic) Book 2 (IN EDITING)

Part twenty

Okay guys so I know I said that this chapter was going to be my fave, but actually the next one is. So please don't hate me. And since I'm on winter break, I will try to update twice a week! :D Enjoy!!

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It has been about two weeks and four days, eighteen horrible and emotionally draining days. Since it's now Wednesday and is the middle of the week, Katherine is in the homeless shelter right now and has been going every day since Sunday. She has offered me countless times to join and assist her, but I always just sadly decline. Too many memories were made in that dreaded building and I don't think I would be able to bare being there longer than a few minutes.

The thing about staying with Katherine, is that even though she leaves me alone to go work like Harry did, she allows me to walk around the area. I walked around for a few minutes on Monday to see the sun rise, but the thing is that even with the beautiful and refreshing winds that we're complimenting the beautiful colors and glow from the sunrise itself, I didn't feel joyful or really engaged in the moment like I usually do. After that experience, I haven't really done anything besides staying indoors.

I feel like a complete vegetable and the thing is that I don't care.

All I have been doing lately is cleaning and tidying up Katherine's house for her every day until she returns. She always is very thankful and even thanked me by baking more of her delicious chocolate chip cookies.

When she returns from work, we usually just watch a movie or play monopoly until we both grow tired. I'm starting to feel very guilty, because I feel as if I'm over staying my welcome and I have even thought about leaving here too, and just becoming homeless again for the sake of Katherine. But I always push that plan aside since it will most likely cause Katherine to worry, or make her believe that my leaving was all her doing and I can't have that. She has been very understanding of me and my problems, and I already have brought so much drama to her life that I don't think she deserves any more.

Right now I'm in Katherine's daughter's bed, drawing in my sketchbook. Ever since Katherine gave me a pack of old color pencils from her school supply stash that she had for Carly, I can't stop drawing. Besides cleaning, when Katherine is gone, I just sketch my heart out. I just turn to the pages at the end of my book in my 'personal' drawings section and my hand just begins to create.

I've always craved color pencils, it adds dimension and more life to a drawing, making a sketch more intense looking. It had always been a luxury that I could not obtain for myself when I was younger due to my father's money troubles, but now that I have them I should be going crazy with them and just enjoy the sensational color that is created by each wooden stick, but I'm not. The only color that actually speaks to me, the only one I have been using is the dark green.

I feel that my sanity has finally diminished because I don't even know myself why I'm coloring with that specific pencil. Green has never been a color that attracted my attention before, but all of a sudden it's my favorite. I try to tell myself that it's because of the tone and shade of it, but I know that that is not it. It must be for a reason that holds more deep meaning to it, and I hope I soon find out so I can finally use another color.

With the green called 'pine', I have been drawing countless things. Usually I just doodle Roses, since I really enjoy them and I just really miss the ten year old girl. But some days the drawings are more intense... Like yesterday I sketched a free hand drawing of a woman with two heads, the shading done of course with the half sharpened green pencil.

My feelings and general emotions being felt are complicated and driving me insane. Some days the thought of my father causes me distress, while other days the curly haired monster and the feeling of butterflies I get in the pit of my stomach when his image and personality in general invades my mind, causes me to want to pull my hair out.