psy·cho·path [harry styles fanfiction]

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11 ;

Flashback

I moved frantically around the kitchen of my home - throwing and smashing everything in sight. My hands reached for the glass plate sitting on top of the counter, without a final thought I had picked it up and launched it at the dirty white fridge. Tiny pieces of light pink glass flew everywhere - my mind going haywire as I looked at the destruction around me and related the broken shreds of glass on the ground to me.

Even if I were to glue the pieces back together there would still be cracks. I didn't want cracks I just wanted to be whole again - I want to be the person I used to be. I look in the mirror now and see a monster - a monster only I've created. I have no one to blame but myself.

It's hard to explain how I feel - I've never been good at sorting out my feelings. But if I were to label myself now I'd call me a psychopath. Im a bipolar mess and a mixture of anxiety and anger. I used to be only a little bit broken - but then again everyone is. Now I cant feel my heart - it's like it isn't even there.

"What the hell! What happened in here?" Chase stood in the doorway of the kitchen, with frowned eyebrows he took a step in and looked around.

"I don't - I don't know." And it was true, I didn't really know how it happened, it just did. I was really becoming a monster - one percent destruction ninety nine percent psycho.

"What happened?" Chase asked calmer - taking hesitant steps toward me.

"I don't know!" I shouted grabbing the knife laying in the sink - without a thought I aimed it at myself but chase had lunged forward and snatched it from me before I had the chance to pierce my skin.

"Did you just fucking try to stab yourself! Hazel what the hell happened!"

Its like I wasn't even in control of my body - I was acting on impulse. I didn't know what was happening, it felt like everything was happening way to fast.

The only thing I could say was, "I just - I don't know." I slid to the ground slowly, my butt came in contact with shards of glass but I couldn't even bother to care. "Who am I?" I whispered to myself - chase had heard though.

"I don't know hazel, that's for you to find out."

Right then I didn't quite understand what he meant - years later I realized he meant if you lose yourself its your fault - and it's your job to try and find yourself again.

Flashback over

I awoke with a racing heart and sweaty palms. I laid still for a while - saving the image of my brother in the back of my mind because lately I found myself forgetting. The room was dark. I let my breathing calm as my eyes traced the tiny bumps in the ceiling.

My eyebrows frowned as a loud crash came from outside the guest bedroom. With numb feet I stood and walked slowly to the door, opening it slowly and peeking my head out only to find a dim light coming from the kitchen.

I walked quietly toward Harry where he stood with his hands on his hips looking over all the ingredients sat on the counter. "What are you doing?" I asked and Harry jumped, startled.

"I Uhm - baking." He muttered quietly. My eyes traced his face - you could tell just from the dull green in his eyes that he was stressed. My eyes snapped to the oven clock where in green it read - 3:00 - in the morning.

"At three in the morning?" I asked. My eyes strayed from his for a brief second toward the familiar white card on the counter. He mumbled something I couldn't quite understand. "You didn't call the cops," I stated, smiling slightly.

"I Uh - yeah - I didn't."

"And you feel guilty so you're trying to take your mind off it." There was a part of me happy Harry hadn't done the right thing. But there was also a part of me - a small voice wishing he had - I pushed it away.

"Yeah," Harry said tiredly. I smiled in his direction - walking over to him behind the counter to look over the different sugars and flours.

"Well I'm quite the baker. Won first place in the second grade baking competition." My tone was light, a weird girly part of me wanted to help Harry get his mind off things.

"Thats a thing?" Harry laughed. I smiled and shook my head, "No but if there was one I would have won."

"Well if your so good stop talking and start working Williams." Harry stepped back and I scoffed.

"Oh trust me - I'm good." I stepped forward and looked at all the different types of things, flour, eggs, milk, sugar. I tilted my head back toward Harry and smiled innocently, "Do you happen to have a package of sugar cookie mix?"

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"These really are good," Harry stated chewing on the sugar cookie cut into the shape of a snowman.

"I am a professional at adding eggs and water to sugar cookie mix - real baker over here." I stated seriously, smiling slightly when Harry laughed loudly.

I eyed the christmas cookies with sad eyes. I remember vividly staying up all night christmas eve with my mom and brother - baking away until the sun started peeking through the windows. We would always go sit around the Tv christmas day and watch christmas movies. There was never presents under the tree but that was okay. It made me happy just to sit around and laugh with my family.

"You know Christmas is in a week. Ever since you know everything's happened - do you celebrate it anymore?" Harrys eyes were curious and his voice steady as he took another cookie.

"I haven't had anyone to celebrate it with. There's no point," I shrugged. I do remember though a year ago when I was walking down the street Christmas day and a little girl walked right up to me and wished me a merry christmas - it made my day.

"I suppose your right." Harry stated, staring at the wall in curiosity. He took a deep breath, "You can celebrate it this year with me."

I almost asked him why he wasn't going to go home but remembered the morning at the lake where he told me that his parents were dead. "Your not going to be spending it with candy?" I asked - purposely calling her candy, not Candice.

"Candice," Harry muttered, "And no I'm not. I haven't done Christmas in a couple of years either, it could be fun to do it again."

After a few seconds of staring at the christmas tree cookie with red frosting I mumbled out a,"Yes." Maybe spending Christmas with Harry wouldn't be so bad, "That sounds nice," I added.

[a/n; HELLLLLOOOOOO. Hi. Okay please check out my story 'crossfire' I really like the plot. Please

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