As Alive As I'll Ever Be (AAAIEB)

As Alive As I'll Ever Be

Thank god school was over. I mean classes were done and summer break had officially begun; but I still

had to get out of the school building; and currently I was trapped in the goddamn hallway. I try as hard as I

can to politely squirm my way between my peers (Who mostly are complete strangers or my enemies) but eventually 

give up and resort to violence. Well, not really violence. Just shoving people rudely out of my way.

  I stumble out onto the front steps of the school, finally out. I hear a few people behind me yell angrily "Hey!"

and a few mumbles of "Bitch." or "Clumsy ass." but I shrug it off. Being in that school for about 2 years now, you

get used to it.

I scan the parking lot and easily find the bright banana yellow buggy and an adorable gay teen waving me over in front

of it. I jog up to Luke and greet him with a smile. "God" Luke says with a look of slight disgust on his face "What happened

to you? An angry mob?" As if on cue the jocks of our school come out into the lot yelling and bringing with them a wave of testosterone,

puming their fists in the air.

"Oh, right." Luke mutters, glancing in their direction.

I climb into the passenger seat of the buggy which I call Bob, because it just made sense, and Luke starts the car.

"So, any plans for this summer, Jade?" I pause and think about it for a few seconds before replying "No. Just reading I guess."

"JADE ALLISTER!" Luke shouts, making me jump in my seat "You cannot possibly have NO plans! Get involved! Go to parties, meet boys, have

sex, do drugs. Just. Do. Something." I laugh at him and sink more into my seat. "You are really a bad influence on me, Lulu."

"Just because i'm gay doesn't mean you can call me girl names." He says matter-of-factly.

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't. That's gaysist."

That stops me in my tracks. "Gaysist?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah, gaysist. Like racist but for gays." Luke answers as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Now THAT'S gaysist." I say through a laugh. Out of the corner of my eye I see Luke crack a small smile. When I look at him, he tries to cover

it up and fails. Even he isn't immune to my charm.

"Well, anyway, you should go out and do stuff this summer. Please just promise me you won't stay inside and read all break."

"But reading is good for you! It's educational and-"

"Jade" Luke cuts me off.

"What?" I spit out, now irritated.

"Please?" Luke asks me with his best puppy-dog face.

I groan but say "Fine." as he pulls up into my driveway.

Luke zooms off after letting me out and I watch him drive away. When his car is just a tiny speck on the horizon, I turn back to face my house.

I still remembered the first day we moved out here. I had thought that having a house in the middle of the woods was strange, but now I had come to 

love it. The smell, the sounds, everything was now home.

I was pretty happy with my life now, not at all like how I was when we first moved here after my dad died. I had been this sad, depressed, lonely 15

year old, who had been ripped away from her previous life because "We need a fresh start. We need to leave his death behind us." That was what Mom had

said. Leave his death behind us. His car accident behind us. She said that, but to this day I wasn't allowed to get a car or drive one. 

Every time I tried to tell Mom to put it behind her and let me drive she would swiftly dissmiss it. I hardly ever tried now.

  I call out loudly as I walk into the house "I'M HOME!" I'm greeted by empty silence. Mom must be out. I make my way up the steps and into my room.

I throw aside my curtians and let in the late-afternoon light.

My daydream of soaking up the summer sun is pushed aside when I hear the jingling of keys downstairs.

"HI MOM!" I yell loudly from my room as I crack open the window to let the cold air trickle in a bit.

"Oh! HI DEAR!" Mom yells back a little too loudly. "COME ON DOWN HEAR SO I DON'T HAVE TO YELL!"

I do as I'm told and trot down the stairs and into our kitchen. Mom greets me with a smile and a kiss on the forehead. "How was school?" She asks me, just

like every day. "Hectic." I reply. Mom gives me a confused look as she says "Hectic? Why was it hectic?"

I roll my eyes at my mom and take a bite out of a peach.

"Of course it was, it was the last day of school." I say with my mouth full. "Oh! Right!" Mom exclaims happily and proceeds to unload the groceries. I loved

her but sometimes she was such an airhead. "So how did you get home?"

  I pause to swallow before saying "I rode home with Luke in Bob." I add "Just like everyday." in my head. My life was pretty normal. Almost boring, actually.

Nothing exciting really ever happened to me, but I was kind of okay with that. I liked my life just fine the way it was. Luke said that I was adverse to change 

or excitement because of what had happened to my dad. Maybe he was right.

My fog of thought clears when I hear the front door open. "Hello ladies!" Aaron greets us with a huge smile. Aaron is my mom's boyfriend. I like him alot. He

has been dating Mom for about a year and a half now. He just moved in with us last month.

  After all of the groceries are put away I decide to go up to my room and read, but when I get there I find myself just looking out of the window, letting the cold

evening air wash over me. A sudden overwhelming urge to be outside overcomes me. I shrug on a jacket and head down the stairs. I find the living room and kitchen empty

and assume Mom and Aaron are upstairs somewhere. I leave a note saying "Gone out for a walk- Jade" on the front door and leave.

  At a brisk pace I move away from my house and toward the city. It wasn't that far of a walk. Normally, I would just go in the woods or around my house; but I wanted

today to be different than everyday.