The Town of Forest Shadow

Transcript 1: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

N/A: There is a frog. I don't know what kind of frog, but there is a frog. Right here, on my desk, right now. No really, there is. This is FSRB.

Female Voice: This broadcast is brought to you by Lucy's Grocies, the only grocery store in town! Buy from us, or die.

N/A: Hello listeners, it is [static] with your daily radio broadcast, broadcasting news and events from all over town. Today's news, a tunnel has suddenly appeared in the local worshipping mountain, which catches fire every few days. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, which nobody seems to even want to go near. Not even our Terror Police are doing anything, instead, they are taking a pottery workshop.

[Static]

N/A: And now, an interview with my lovely girlfriend with great hair, Jordan. Hello Jordan, great to have you here.

Jordan: Hello, [Static], it's great to be here.

N/A: Wonderful. First of all, what do you know about the tree that had rampaged the streets a few months ago?

Jordan: Well, it was a very rare chicken tree. They often grow by graveyards so it was very strange to see one in the middle of the city.

N/A: Good to know. Why were you in the hospital for such a long period of time afterwards?

Jordan: I had gotten stage three Fangirling, which causes a sore throat, dehydration, loss of eyesight, and memory loss.

N/A: Great, and one final question. What do you think of the upcoming election?

Jordan: You're just asking this because I won't tell you.

N/A: N-No, I think it's a valid question to ask.

Jordan: Still not answering it.

N/A: Now, more news. There has been another chicken tree sightin-[door closing] and she's gone. Another chicken tree sighting in Hazelnut Valley by the Rite Aid. Whom of which we are not sponsored by. I have just recited a letter from my intern, [static], stating that there are currently baby chinchillas up for adoption in the trailer park, which none of us are allowed into. In other news, the local Sen school is currently closed for much needed renovations. And now a word from our sponsor.

[Sound of airplanes and helicopters going overhead while a picture of a small child running through a soccer field can be heard.]

Male Voice: Pigeons.

N/A: This had been a word from our sponsor. Now, back to the tunnel. Some citizens have entered the tunnel, and still have not returned. The light has begun changing colors, as it is now blue. Shadows can be seen entering the tunnel, then dissipating into nothing. The light at the end of the tunnel grows closer and closer as more and more shadows enter the tunnel. The worshipping mountain has lit on fire once again for the first time in weeks. Now, to the Shadow Calendar.

Female Voice: Shadows will not be seen this week, as our god for this week has mysteriously gone missing. This week's god has been Kanye West, but will be changed to Lin-Manuel Miranda, as we all agree he deserves it more. In the absence of the shadows, there will be no night terrors this week. This has been the Shadow Calendar.

N/A: Well, shadows, we are going to miss you this week. A new kind of pigeon has been discovered behind the local "Microwave Kitchen," and has been named the waffle pigeon. Local zookeeper, Mare Adams, is here to tell us all about it. It's great to have you here.

Mare: It's great to be here! It has always been my dream to be on the radio.

N/A: Wonderful.

Mare: You know, I thought you would look a lot different. With your [static] black hair. You know, you almost look like a gi-

N/A: Yeah, yeah. It's- uh- it's great to have you here. Moving on. What does this elusive new pigeon look like?

Mare: Well, I have one right here. As you can see, it's sort of in the shape of a circle, not a sphere like most pigeons, but a circle. It is a light orange, except for the beak, which is a light pink. It only eats waffles and it poops butter.

N/A: Great. Well, where do you think it came from?

Mare: It's probably a mutated pigeon that came from the dumpsters behind the café. Those things are toxic, you know.

N/A: Well, it was great having you here. Now, to the weather. Monday will be a crystal day, with a 45% chance of granite. Tuesday will be a coal day, with a 23% chance of garnet and a 10% chance of granite. Wednesday and Thursday will both be limestone and Friday will be limestone with a chance of granite. Saturday will be the Day of the Void, therefore, there will be no weather. And now, a useless sponsor.

Female Voice: Brought to you by the Trash Clown. We love to hate you, and hate to love you.

N/A: Now, back to the tunnel. The light grew brighter and brighter, until it grew so bright, it was blinding. There was a large explosion, but no sound emitted from it. The explosion destroyed part of the mountain as the fire at the top grew, until the entire mountain was entirely in flames. As the smoke cleared, A large hole is seen straight through the mountain, allowing the endless desert behind it to be seen through the mountain. The citizens who had entered the tunnel are assumed dead and their death certificates are currently being printed. Also, there were no bodies, therefore, we will be burying soul stones instead. This has been the daily FSRB. I'll be here when the smile rises, listeners.

Female Voice: This has been the daily Forest Shadow Radio Broadcast. If you would like to know more about the topics spoken about during this broadcast, order the Imagine Leaf: News Edition from the bird closest to you. This radio show broadcasts from 90:48AM to 38:92PM. Next, awful country music.