I am totally exhausted in the day I arrived in work. Lack of sleep, ruined body, filled with turmoil and feeling my empty heart.
Millions of questions keep on bombarding me since the dawn began on Mike's bedroom.
Why are we doing this?
Why I let myself get involved in this kind of... mess?
Why is that whenever we past that warm nights, I felt being deeply loved, but when the dawn breaks, everything is gone?
Does he love me? Or it's just the night spending with me all matter to him?
What?
Ugggh!
I dropped my forehead on my desk and let my thoughts float for awhile. I closed my eyes and began to remember the last night's event with Mike. His touch. His kisses. Those things are all damn good.
His strong arms wrapped in me makes me feel safe and secured.
His warm gazes makes my heart leaped and I feel I am going to melt whenever our sights cross.
His touch keeps my blood alive.
His kisses fill my heart with love.
Oh! This man!
A man that since then I dreamt.
Dream to be with.
Forever.
But how can I have someone like him if he only want is the nights with me?
Can my nights be my forever?
But wishing for this elusive and impossible dream is like, indeed, wishing for him to be mine forever.
Before I could fall into my deeper sleep, a ring on the telephone reverberated. I sat up straight and fixed myself.
"Hello?" I said politely.
"Ms. Sara, come to my office now."
The manly husky voice from the other line makes my heart beats faster like a running horse in a race.
"Y-yes S-sir... I'll be there in a second." I said stammering.
"Good." He said.
"Mike? Why are we doing this? Do you love me? I love you Mike. I hope you it as well. I love you." I said feeling the rush of love and hearing the sounds of warm passion in my voice. I feel like a little girl wishing for something. Asking for something in favor. I feel the heat on the edge of my eyes and strongly expecting for the reply of my request. But before I uttered those words, the other line was already shut. Literally, I'm talking to nothing. Waiting an answer for nothing.
I don't know what to expect when I enter his room. What would I do? Should I greet him with a kiss? No. A big mistake Sara. I'm not his. He's not mine. Simple.
I knocked on the door before opening it. I saw him busily scribbling on his papers. He has his white long sleeves rolled it up to his elbows, his shirt is unbutonned down his chest, his hair is neatly combed.
"G-good afternoon S-sir." Hating myself to stammer in front of him.
"Take your seat please." He said in an authoritative manner without gazing up to me.
And what I am expecting? This is reality. And reality sucks.
I took the seat in from of him. I watched him busily writing then signing and typing something in his laptop. He's tanned with his summer sports like surfing, mountain trekking, forest camping and other outdoor activities. His Adam's apple protruding, making its way up and down as he mumble while working. His biceps are screaming on his tight sleeves. He's so damn good looking. I feel like I am drooling in his godlike existence. Why does heaven sent down a beautiful creature like him here? He will be devoured by the lustful eyes of women here. Goodness!
"Sara?" The low voice uttering my name sounds good.
"Y-yes?" I answered back nervously.
He held his gaze up to me and our sights finally met after the long long longing.
"Are you free tonight?"
