Signum Vitalis (a dramione story)

In which several relationships are discussed

This semester did seem to be going easier than the last one. It finally wasn't as difficult to avoid thinking about potions. She found the fast-paced routine of her classes gave her less time to think in general and was probably part of what had helped her resist her addiction. Working off of that theory, she threw herself a little more into schoolwork and extracurriculars. She wasn't home until late every night of the week and she had developed several meditations that helped her fall asleep once she did get to bed.

The meditations had been her therapist's idea. His theory was that she unconsciously wouldn't let herself relax enough to sleep because that also meant her nightmares would come. To address that fear, she had to confront the reoccurring dreams every night before she slept. Hermione could admit that she was afraid. She hated jolting up awake, her heart racing, and having to relive some of the worst moments of her life over and over again. It was the reason she had started taking Dreamless Sleep potions. However, her therapist's meditations had initially sounded a tad too pseudoscience-y to Hermione and she only started them as a desperate grasp for anything that would help her with the awful sleepless and restless nights.

The first few times, her therapist had led her through the scenarios, patiently waiting as she had sobbed or panicked. The more times she had done it, the less intense the emotions had been until they became manageable aches instead of raw wounds. Now she had a basic pattern that played out more or less each time in her head as she mentally prepared for bed. In her nightmare of being tortured, she had to go in and save herself. In her mind, it was easy enough to hex Bellatrix, Lucius and even Narcissa but she never knew what to do about Draco. The first time she had stared at him, waiting for him to do something one way or the other. He had stared back with big scared eyes and, when she moved towards him, ducked behind one of the huge, overstuffed chairs. She had turned towards her other self then, bending down to care for her younger self's wounds. She kept an eye on him but he did not move when she pulled herself onto her shoulder or when she helped herself down to the dungeon to rescue her friends. For all she knew, he had stayed behind that chair the whole time. When it came to her nightmare of him killing her parents, she usually put him in a full-body bind and then pulled the death-eater tattoo off his arm like a patterned band-aid before throwing the writhing knotted snake into the fire. With it gone, the cloak and mask would disappear and he would shrivel down into his twelve year old self. It wasn't a perfect system and it took longer than her potion routine but it was almost as effective and without the side effects so she continued to put aside the time to do it. Each time she was annoyed at the time-commitment or didn't feel like facing her dreams, she reminded herself how it had felt not to have her magic when a little boy's life relied on it. The guilt was enough at first and gradually the benefits, such as a clearer mind that came from more sleep, pushed her to continue.

Because she was sleeping better, she had been able to wake up in time to call Harry more. However, he wasn't home very often - the snakeheads scattered so quickly after each crime that he was having as much difficulty tracking them as he would herding cats. Thus, more often than not, Hermione only spoke to Ginny when she called. She had come to enjoy the girl talk with Ginny but Hermione still felt a pang of loneliness whenever she heard Harry's message on the voicemail.

"So," Ginny probed the next Saturday. "When will we hear wedding bells? Malfoy expressed his undying love yet?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. Ginny might have thought it was a joke but it hit a little too close for Hermione, even if it had been just a barely-avoided kiss. "Keep your freckled nose to yourself. Do you want me to start hassling you about Harry?"

There was a sigh on the other end. Then, after a pause, Ginny asked, "So it really is over between you and Ron?"

"Has he been planning our wedding again?"