Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 10

'Your different personalities. Why people act like you're going to murder them if they look at you the wrong way. How many times Tony has done this. How many times you've been there for the follow up. Who you truly are when you're not the dick around your friends.' The questions that I asked Vic raced in my mind, thinking of the most tragic and creative answers.

I slowly walked to the couch, I sat like I always do, very close to Vic. This seems like the thousandth time we've done it.

"Mike, Tony, Jaime, Ric, someone you've never met, and I." My mind immediately stopped trying to answer all these questions and listened when it heard Vic voice. "We all went to the same high school. When I was sixteen, a junior, I went home to find my parents being held hostage, by some guy. Mike went around back, we made plans to attack him from both sides, but Mike went in first and too soon. The guy saw Mike and wrestled him, which stabbed Mike in the process. Without thinking I jumped. I'm very quick to anger, so I got on top of the man, and threw him off Mike into the wall, he came toward me with the knife, and some how I managed to break his foot and I called 911 at that point, figuring i'd be safe, and I also was helping Mike with his wound, my parents would have been useless if I untied them anyway, they were too traumatized. I looked over when I was on the phone and the man stabbed himself, right in the heart." I gasped, I didn't take my eyes off Vic, and Vic didn't take his eyes off the wall. I didn't believe his story- not one bit. He was lying but my voice couldn't find the words to accuse him. "When the police arrived he was dead. Mike ended up being fine, and he got a cool scar I guess. But my parents. I don't know. Ever since then I just remember us not being the same, maybe they were mad at me because I didn't untie them, maybe they were mad that I caused someone to kill themselves, who knows. But that was on a Thursday, we didn't go to school Friday, so on Monday we went back. That look of fear that everyone gives me now, it was triple that on that Monday. I didn't know why. In my head I was wondering why no one think of my as the hero, you know? So I go up to Jaime in the halls and ask him. He tells me that Ric spread a rumor that I killed the man."

"Why didn't you beat him up?" I egged him in his lie, just to see how far he'd go.

"Melodi, Ric isn't someone you do that to, he just isn't, and that's why you haven't met him. He will rip you inside out and I'm not letting him to that to you." he made his grip around me even tighter. "So anyway, I tried to explain to people that that wasn't the case, but no one believed me, and I mean no one. Jaime and Mike were the only ones, not even Tony Believed me. That's why everyone's afraid of me." He sighed "As for my different personalities I guess it's that too. People just don't forget about me, I'm not just 'that kid' I'm 'Vic' nothing more nothing less, and everyone's afraid of that. They are afraid because they think I killed someone. And you know sometimes I wish I did, because that man, he deserved whatever fait he got. But anyway, I guess what you really mean by that question is why am I a dick to everyone else, and different when I'm around you?"

I nodded. "Well to everyone else I'm Vic, the guy that killed someone. To you, I'm not. And people think I'm very cynical, or that they should be afraid of me, so I put on a show for them, and trust me if I could have gotten them to not believe that lie, I would've, but it's a part of me now, and to be quiet honest I like the fact that no one fucks with me." He shifted around a little. "Now the shit with Tony. He's been pulling it for a while."

My stomach was tied in knots at the questions I wanted him to answer next. Which were 'how many times was he there after the fact, and how many times had he pounded the guys face in.'

"I've never beat the shit out of Tony, for this reason anyway."

"Then wh-"

"And I've never I guess comforted any of the girls after like I am doing with you." You could tell he was nervous. "You're gonna ask why, I know- and here's exactly why. You're not like all of the other girls he takes out, you weren't asking for it last night."

"I'm sure the other girls weren't either!" I tried to defend for girls I didn't know

"Trust me, it just wasn't the same circumstances. Jaime feels the same way."

"What do you mean?"

"Jaime felt like you were kind of the last straw, like Tony went too far this time."

"Are you saying I can't handle myself?"

"No, not In this group you can't, not yet anyway." I know I should have been offended, even tempted to leave, but I didn't want to. I knew it was very true, what Vic had just said, that I can't handle myself.

"I have another question."

"No. I need to tell you something." He was softer than normal. He looked at my face and into my eyes, kissing me. The explosion I had felt about a week ago when we did the same thing wasn't a fluke, it was real. I felt an even bigger explosion this time, I have feared this moment my whole life. I have feared it and it is happening all over again, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I've feared getting attached again.