Story of my Life

November 2019

November 2019

"Please go away." Connie begged through her tears her as she turned onto her side and curled up.

"I'm not leaving you Con." Jacob told her gently, placing a hand softly on her back only for her to wriggle away from his touch.

"Please." Was all she managed to say as her tears became sobs. Jacob stood back for a moment, he couldn't leave her like this but her begging and pleas to be alone broke his heart a little more. He weighed up the options in his head, knowing that she would never talk about anything she didn't want to, and also knowing that she would be well looked after in the hospital forced his decision.

"Okay, but ring me if you need anything. I love you. I'll be back to get you when you're discharged." She couldn't even hear his words, she'd completely zoned out, instead she was replaying the day in her head trying to figure out where she'd gone wrong.

*******

"Mummy?" The girls called in unison as they got in through the front door and instantly ran through the house in search of their mother.

"What did I say about being quiet? I said we needed to be as quiet as a mouse." Jacob sighed as he closed the door behind them, finding that the twins had already disappeared off upstairs. Knowing that they'd have already woken Connie, Jacob gently placed the girls' bag of toys down and moved towards the kitchen in an attempt to salvage the situation. Connie Masters had been on the night shift and so the girls had been at nursery all day whilst their mother slept. The click kettle disturbed Jacob's thoughts and alerted him to the fact that the kettle had boiled. Without really thinking about it he went through the motions of making a cup of coffee until another sound disturbed him.

"DADDY!" Came the shout of Beatrix, the little voice was panicked but that could mean anything from she couldn't find her toy, to the end of the world.

"I'll be up in a second." He called back, before moving to the fridge to get the milk for his wife's coffee.

"MUMMY IS SICK." Came the voice of Quinn, the quieter twin, the twin who never shouted. At this Jacob dropped the milk and ran up the stairs. He was greeted with the twins stood by the door as Connie writhed around in pain on the bed.

"Girls, go and play in your room." He demanded straight away as he rushed over to Connie's side, after a quick glance backwards it was obvious that the girls didn't want to move. "I said go." Jacob almost shouted, desperate to stop the girls from seeing their mother's pain, whilst also anxious to deal with whatever Connie was experiencing. This time the girls did move, he could hear them crying now from their room but Connie remained the priority.

"M...my...st...oma...stomach." She moaned as her hand fell to the area causing the majority of the pain.

"Does it hurt anywhere else baby?" Instead of replying, she simply pointed to her back. "Are you on your period?" He asked and received a simple shake of her head in response. "Okay, I'm going to call an ambulance and then ring Zoe to look after the girls."

"Please make it stop." She cried as he went to leave the room.

"I'll be back in a moment."

After a few minutes he returned having called 999 and Max, he also came back with hot water bottles to try and soothe her pain. It was immediately clear that the pain hadn't at all subsided, and now there was a small patch of red where Connie was laying.

"Are you sure you aren't on your period Con?" He asked again, pointing to the blood stains which stood out against the white of the duvet.

"Ahh." She groaned in pain. "I'm sure. Jacob, I need you to get me to the bathroom." She demanded suddenly. Jacob obliged as he gently lifted her, being careful not to increase her pain.

"Jacob, what's going on?" Came Zoe's voice as she appeared at the top of the stairs, having let herself into the house.

"We're in the ensuite." He called back, and moments later Zoe appeared at the door.

"Jacob, go and calm the girls down and get them ready to come with me. I'm going to give Connie the once over before the ambulance gets here." Zoe told him and immediately Jacob left, forgetting about the blood which now stained his top.

"Connie, when was your last period?" Zoe asked.

"About three months ago, it's never regular." She answered before screaming. "It's getting worse."

"Connie..."

"Ahh, I can feel something coming out." She screamed.

"Connie, I need you to listen to me. I think you're having a miscarriage." Zoe told her gently, not having realised that Jacob was now back in the room.

It wasn't long before the ambulance arrived and Connie was now in the hospital. Upon arrival, it didn't take long to establish that she had in fact had a miscarriage.

The room was dark, as Connie had demanded the lights be turned off. Her tears hadn't subsided since the news, occasionally she mumbled something about her being a terrible mother and that she deserved it for not being a better mother to Grace, who still refused to see her, or meet her siblings. Every so often she would turn and tearfully apologise to Jacob, but other than those few seconds, she refused to acknowledge he was even there.

Hey again, it's me. It's been a while, I could offer excuses about how I've been busy and how I started uni, but mostly I just had no motivation to right. I can't promise that there'll be another update soon, but I can promise that there will be one at some point. I'm sorry that this is sad, I've never experienced a miscarriage either so I'm sorry if anything is wrong.

Beth x