The Good Wife

Chapter 7

I patted down the front of my dress as I vaguely looked across the room at everyone that was crossing the floor. I felt the soft silkiness of the fabric against my fingers as I tried to straighten myself up so I could look more presentable, because after all it was my wedding day.

I continued gazing across the room blankly at all the people that were there, everyone looking cheerful and happy as they enjoyed my wedding reception while I on the other hand sat tautly and stared.

It was extremely difficult for me to partake in anything contently because in all honesty I didn't know how to feel. I felt so numb and cold towards everything and everyone that I didn't even know myself. No one knew how numb I was feeling, virtually unable to feel anything. I was unable to laugh or even smile at my own wedding but more importantly, I didn't feel like a bride. I didn't feel like I was married and It didn't feel like my wedding day.

The tears, laughter, happiness and overabundance of joy that surrounded me I wasn't able to empathize with and what made it more difficult was the fact that even though everyone was throbbing with celebration for my marriage, I could still pick up a little negativity and coldness in the room from a few of Charles's affluent guests who didn't like the idea of a store proprietors daughter marrying his rich son. It was my wedding day and I should've been giddy with emotions but everything was too unreal, yet it was all happening around me.

At the moment I was seated next to Kerrick - my now husband, watching the cheerful proceeding of the reception but feeling nothing towards it. Nothing around us made an effect on me in the slightest as I could only sit stiffly and stonily beside him.

For a moment I stole a glimpse at Kerrick as he blankly scanned the room. His eyes obscured and totally apathetic of his surroundings. He hadn't said much during the ceremony other than at the altar but now he just sitting stiffly next to me, watching the reception.

I reached forward and picked up my champagne glass that was on the table in front of me, before whirling the contents of it around absentmindedly. That was when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye that he was staring at me. That same unfathomable gaze that always met me momentarily stared at me before flicking back to the floor, though I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel terrified or puzzled by the blankness of his eyes. I couldn't feel anything from his gaze, it was always so empty and hollow as if it didn't contain a person behind them.

I could always usually understand people, even in the slightest but this man was a mystery and an anomaly to me. He didn't seem shy or quiet in fact but detached from everything that was happening around him, as if nothing could bring him to take part in anything, yet I could tell he was aware of everything that was taking place. His dark eyes flicked through the ceremony, taking in everything silently but I couldn't tell what he was making out from everything.

I thought at first he was just tired but with everything happening around him and every slight move which occurred across the room he followed it vaguely but it didn't seem out of interest. His eyes were just too clouded for me to understand what was going on in his mind.

I sighed as I pulled myself up out of my chair and left his side. As I glided across the room I knew that although many couldn't see it, I was barely holding myself together but I needed to get away from everything for a moment, even if all eyes in the room were trained on me. I stopped mid-way of the floor when I saw my father, so I quickly went over to him.

When I neared him he smiled before outstretching a hand to me and tucking back a tendril of hair behind my ear.

"You look beautiful," he said, giving me a broken hearted smile. I could tell that he was in great pain and I couldn't take seeing him like that. I didn't want to see him in pain, I wanted to reach out to him but I was helpless. "So what do you think of him?"