closer

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Like every other parent, mine had always wanted to take pictures of ‘precious’ moments. Most of them consist of me with food on my face and other cliches.

I recently found a box of these photos. They were all old Polaroids, I still have the camera that was used to take them. I took a stack of the pictures out of the box and started looking through them. About half way through the stack I noticed something, a small, black smudge. I thought it was just something on the lens. But it seemed to appear in every photo and gradually got bigger as I grew older with in the pictures.

I had finished that stack and decided to move on to the next. And there it was again, that same black spot in the corner. I quickly flipped through them, eyes barely grazing over the picture before changing into the next.

I had gone through about 8 years worth of pictures when I started to see something in the black spot. Outlines of something that was barely visible. I looked closely at each photograph, trying to find out what it was. Like always, as I progressed it got closer and closer.

I gasped as I looked at one picture, what I initially thought was just a smudge had turned into a face. It was slightly transparent, it had two large pits for eyes, a big, wide, toothy, evil looking grin. It was so close, much closer than it had ever been. The mass was hovering behind my smiling 12-year-old self. I dropped the picture back into the box. That was the last picture I had ever taken. It’s been three years since that picture.

I closed my eyes, breathed out, then got up and put the box away. I walked back to my room and steered clear of mirrors and any other reflective surfaces. I sat at my desk and opened up my desk drawer. I looked down and saw it, the camera that had taken all of those pictures. I grabbed it and held it in front of me, facing me. I took a deep breath.

One.

Two.

Three.

Click.

The picture slide up from the slit and started developing. I took it out and set it on the desk. I waited and waited. The picture slowly coming into view. I got up from the desk and walked over to my bed, grabbing my book and slowly making my way to the desk. I set the book down gently and closed my eyes. I patted around for the picture. Once found, I picked it up and held it in front of my face. I quickly opened my eyes and screamed. I didn’t see me. I saw nothing of mine. All I saw was that face.

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