Differences | Demi Lovato

1

Demi

Irreconcilable differences.

The legal term, for I don't love you anymore.

That's the term that's on the papers in front of me. Across the table is him; the father of my children, the one I swore to love for the rest of my life. He can't even look at me, but I stare hard at him, because he's the reason for this. He's the one who refuses to go to therapy, the one who insists this is the only way to fix things.

This isn't a fix, this is giving up.

"Okay you two." I jumped as the judge walked in. "Valderrama, right?"

"Yes." I murmured, while he just nodded.

"Two kids, married fifteen years?"

"Yes."

He nodded, sitting down with a sigh and looking over the papers. I held my breath as he flipped through them, then let them fall to the table.

"I'm not signing these."

"What?" It was the first time Wilmer spoke. "Why not?"

"Because I don't see irreconcilable differences here. If you two were married for a year or two, then yeah I'd sign them, but it's been fifteen years. Don't tell me you haven't been happy for fourteen of them?"

Wilmer looked at me, and I bit my lip, had he not been happy?

"Look, I know you two are in the spotlight. Was there any adultery?"

"No." I said quietly, then glanced at Wilmer. "I mean, I don't think so."

"No." He said. "There wasn't."

"Domestic abuse?"

"Absolutely not."

The judge sighed and shrugged. "I'm going to recommend three months of mandatory counseling. At the end of that, if you two still want me to, I'll talk to your therapist and sign the papers."

"Is this really necessary?"

"Yes. Now I have other cases, if you two don't already have one, I'll have my receptionist send over a list of counselors. Have a good day." With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Wilmer and I alone.

"We'll just get a new judge." Wilmer said, shrugging. "I'll get this sorted out."

"What if we just did what he said?" I murmured, looking up at him. "What if we just tried?"

"Demi I've been trying to make it work for fifteen years."

"So why didn't you tell him you haven't been happy? Why didn't you just tell him that you've wanted out of this marriage for fifteen years?"

"Because that's a lie, of course I've been happy Demi! We've both changed! I don't want to be married to you anymore!" He ran a hand through his hair. "I mean Jesus it's not like you're happy everyday!"

I looked down at my hands. "I was happy."

He stopped to look at me. "What?"

I bit my lip to keep from crying and looked at him. "I was happy Wilmer. The day you told me you didn't want to be married to me I was blindsided, but I acted like I wasn't because I wanted you to be happy. All I wanted was for you to be happy. Not a day goes by that I don't want to be married to you."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What am I supposed to say?" I whispered. "Stay? Don't leave me? How can I convince my husband to stay married to me when he doesn't love me anymore? How selfish could that be?"