Ramblings of Rosa Autumn MacGregor

1

So it seems that I'm a shitty "human being" in general. For any of you who have read my story, you should have realized that by this point. Although I really don't think that I could have covered everything on my mind while I wrote those chapters.
For example, the whole life is a game thing near the end. I had to stop myself from going on for significantly longer. I don't see why people want to have VR headsets to play games where they are another person. I'm not sure if it's just to see how stupid someone could be before they end up dying, or what's going on with that. I myself do play RP games, but that's to try to live the life that I never got. Stupid of me, I know. But if you read my other story, I'm pretty sure that it won't seem that unreasonable. I lost almost 16 years of being able to be myself, and I was in a fucking horrible place for at least three of those years.
The last story I wrote was actually an attempt at having something therapeutic that I could do at any point in time. Although I found myself being stuck in the past, and digging myself deeper. That's one of the reasons that I continue down my dark road toward self destruction. I was so far gone during my darker years that I am still affected by them today.
My girlfriend has to constantly reassure me that I am okay, and that I am safe. When I'm not panicking, I'm usually angry with people to the point that I will do something that I will regret, right up until I have a drink.
I am so fucked up because of what has happened to me in the past, that I am unable to function properly in day to day life. Anyway, that's enough for one night/morning. I've only been typing for 10-15 minutes, but it's 0117 and will be around three hundred and fifty words when I stop. So, here I shall say goodnight.