Am I Enough?

lets get to know each other

its been almost a week here in this new town and school doesn't start until another month. so its good i can settle in. i like to be prepared for things.

i walk into the small cafe and hear the familiar ding. i order something small and sit back at the table.

i sip out of my soda, and the door dings, causing me to look up at max. she doesn't buy anything, just sits down. "aren't you afraid you'll get kicked out if you dont order something?"

she just laughed at my question, "c'mon wyatt, live a little." i force a chuckle and pull out my computer. there's not much to do on it, but i always act like i have something to do, to hide the fact that im an awkward guy, with not much to talk about.

"what's the matter?" max asks, pushing down my laptop slightly, looking at me.

i give her a questioning look, "uh nothing. just checking everything." i gesture towards my laptop.

"but that's all you ever do." she fake whines and i laugh, "what do you want to do then?" i shut my laptop completely.

"let's get to know each other a little more," she smiles excitedly. why does she want to befriend me so bad?

"okay," i hesitate.

"yes," she exclaims, doing a small fist pump, "where did you come from? like before you moved here? and why here, out of all places, why'd you move here?"

that seemed like a lot of questions, "uh, well i came from pennsylvania, and after my sister died we all wanted to move. we had to pick somewhere not very far from pennsylvania, so we picked michigan."

she nodded her head, and didnt make eye contact, "ah, sorry about your sister?" after a long pause, she looked up at me, "its your turn to ask me something."

"why do you do that?" i ask simply.

"do what?"

"make something sound like its a question when its a statement?"

while im thinking of an example in fear she doesn't even know what im talking about she says something.

"i only do it when i get nervous, or sad or scared, you know?"

"makes sense," i nod my head understandingly.

"good," she pauses, "why are you so nervous all the time?"

"i don't even know the answer to that," i clear my throat, "ask me something else," i suggest.

"hm, fine. what's your favorite color? and why?

"i don't have one."

"you have to have a favorite color," she drags.

"i dont. i promise."

she looks at me funny, and i hate that.

"what are you thinking?" i wonder.

she starts off with a laugh and a rhetorical question, "why did you promise me something as minimal as not having a favorite color," she looks down for a moment, "i like this. i hate that. i want to keep this. and want to ignore that, but i can't because well," she takes a deep breath, "i don't know, really," she breathes out, "everything?"

as im about to say something, which im not even sure what im about to say, max's phone rings.

she jumps at the sound, she checks to see who it is, "i have to go," she says hurriedly, as she runs away without even answering the phone.