Breathe

Chapter One

Another sob ripped through her body.  She couldn't even begin to think of an excuse as to why she lay broken on the floor.  The only thing she could hope for right now was the absence of her roommate for a while longer.  

Casey was use to the spells of overwhelming emotions that would come and go.  It felt like a rollercoaster ride through a whirlwind of tears and anger, usually leaving her and others around her with whiplash.  Casey's doctor had prescribed her antidepressants, but those did nothing except blur the world around her. The ache deep in her bones didn't subside.  Nor did the rage she felt at a whims notice.  The feelings of not being able to control one's own body causes her to spend most  nights curled up in a blanket cocoon wishing that someday she'd just feel normal for once.  

How was she supposed to help children with their problems if she couldn't even conquer her own? Granted, Casey was only working on speech impediments not mental illnesses but the question was still an imposing threat.  

A creak of the door causes Casey to snap out of her reflection into her own mind. 

"Come on, get up. I have friends coming over and they should not have to stand awkwardly around you as you cry about you're imaginary problems"

Jennifer despised the pity parties Casey would throw for herself.  The idea that there would be a disease that caused her to do so was so farfetched and made up by pharmacists that she wouldn't even indulge in it. 

Casey's roommate wasn't always the kindest.  Jennifer grew up in a household where any problem could be solved with money or Jesus.  As for herself, Casey wasn't religious a bit but religion didn't bother her at all.  Jen on the other hand took it as a personal attack against her beliefs when she found out after prying in her personal life.  Rooming together did not get easier after that. 

Jennifer was the type of girl that always had a big group of people around her. Never once would you find her walking around the college campus alone.  She was used to the attention, and relished in it.  Jen looks like she walked off the cover of a Maxim magazine.  This was a "talent" she solicited as much as she possibly could.  

Casey thought about skipping her Sign Language 101 class today but decided that it would be better then having to listen to how her depression was made up in her own mind.  If only it were that easy to fix.

Her walk to the large building that held her class felt like miles long, even though it was only a block or so. At first, the overwhelming size of the college campus was a challenge to Casey.  She was never very good with directions or huge crowds. College was a combination of multiple, huge buildings and tremendous groups of people. Her smallest class was made up of 60 students. The anxiety she experienced from being this out in the open was almost crippling but something she was learning to endure.  

 As she walked in to take her seat, Casey could feel eyes looking at her.  She had tried her best to cover up the splotchy red spots on her face and her swollen eyes.  It was still plain to read on her face that she was in complete turmoil.  

"Alright, I hope you studied your signs from class Tuesday because we are having a pop quiz of sorts today.  We're taking a page from high school and I'm partenering you up into twos.  You will then quiz each other and give each other a score from zero to ten.  Don't think you can help a friend out either because I will be observing and you know my policy on cheaters.  I will to start to number you off now."

Oh no.  Here comes the awkward conversation starters and the nervous one word replies.  This was the number one reason Casey hated high school.  Being forced into interacting with someone at all times and being socially involved.  She sat alone in all of her classes in high school and attempted to in college.  

Casey hears her number called out and heads to the noise source.  Sitting at a desk is a boy that looks like he walked out of an Abercrombie and Fitch ad.  His blue eyes shone bright at her with a friendly smile accompanying.  His blonde hair seemed out of place on his head with his obvious brown roots. 

In high school Casey might have been love struck or gotten butterflies but as she's gotten older she's lost her belief in love.  Love is a made up word so men could get into her pants.  She learned this firsthand. 

"Hi, I'm Niall and probably the luckiest guy in this room right now."

"I'm Casey and I don't think so, I didn't prepare for this at all."

Surprisingly, small talk came easy with Niall, he had a warm personality that made you want to open up and tell your most embarrassing inner thoughts.  The hour passed by quickly.  "Almost a little too quickly" Casey thought. 

"Wow, Casey I think you're a liar! You had those signs down like the back of your hand, no pun intended. I think I could use some help for a study partner like you. If you ever want to hang out to work on class things or just hang out, I'll give you my number and you can text me."

"Alright I'll hit you up sometime.  Have a good day Niall."

There was no way he was flirting with her.  If he was, he probably just thought she was easy and he could get a little more than studying done.  Casey contemplated throwing away his number but something in her head convinced her to keep it.  "Who knows, maybe he could be a good friend.  I know I need one of those here" Casey thought.