Savin' Us

Chapter 30- Was It All In My Head?

I pace around the living room. Marcel went upstairs to shower and change for his meetings.

Why am I hesitating? This is why I came here; to get him back. He's willing to let me back in. Just like that.

So why did I sit there and gawk at him when he asked me to move back in?

I pick up my phone and I figure out exactly why I'm hesitating. I'm​ staring at a picture of Nick and I. He sent it a few minutes ago and captioned it, "Thought this would make you smile."

It's​ a picture he took of us pigging out in his home theatre. I had a big smile on my face- probably laughing at the comedy we were watching or something he said. I was going through one of the worst nights of my life and he still managed to make me smile. My face was stuffed with popcorn but something else in the picture made my breath catch.

The way he was looking at me... Only Marcel looks at me like that. It's a look of deep yearning. Of admiration. He couldn't...

I am such an idiot. Here I am telling Marcel I'm there when a part of me really isn't. I wouldn't say I'm​ in love with Nick. But I'm​ almost certain that if I wasn't head over heels for Marcel I probably would be well on my way falling for Nick.

I sit down on the couch staring at the picture, trying to decide what to make of my relationship with Nick.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at the picture but I feel​ him before I see him. And rushing to put the phone away is obviously stupid since he already saw what I was looking at.

The look on his face is enough to make me want to slap myself. Then he does something unexpected. He bends and kisses me on the cheek and says, "Let me know what you decide."

And just like that he leaves.

I want to cry. I'm​ seconds away from a breakdown. But I suck it up. I'm​ a big girl and I'm​ going to handle this like one.

I run upstairs and get changed. I grab my jacket with my purse and cell phone and leave. Outside, I hail a taxi.

I'm​ going to Granville.

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"Nick?" I call. I hang my coat on the rack and go straight to his home office. I don't know how but I know he's here. One of the maids give me a small smile as I run pass her. "Nick?"

I'm​ about to push the door open to his office when I hear him behind me. "Evelyn." I spin around quickly. "What's-"

"Why'd you send me that picture?"

His brows furrow. "I thought you'd like it. That it would cheer you up a little."

I pause. "That's it? You didn't send it to..."

"Show you how I feel? Yes, I did," he admits. "Because I don't know how to say it."

I stare at him. His green eyes pierce into me. I don't need this right now. I can't have him feeling anything more than friendly feelings towards me.

And the way he's looking at me is far from friendly. "Please don't," I plead.

But he shakes his head. "I should've done this a long time ago." Before I could ask what he means, he closes the space between us and presses his lips to mine. I try to push him away but he holds my hands and backs me against the wall. "Stop fighting this. You want me just as much as I want you, Evelyn."

I shake my head. "Nick, I d-"

"Just kiss me. You're fighting it. Let go and kiss me."

Maybe it's because I want to prove him wrong so he can let go or something else. But I do. He presses his lips to mine again and I kiss him back.

His grip on my hands loosen and he places his hands on my waist, pulling me closer to him. His lips are soft, sweet....

But this is all wrong.

I push him away and since he's caught off guard he stumbles backward. Looking befuddled, he stares at me. "You felt that."

I shake my head. "Nick, I don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry."

He grabs my arm and pulls me into his office, closing the door behind us.

He places my hand against his chest. His heart is beating rapidly. "You feel that? That's how my heart speeds up when I see you. When I hear your voice. When you laugh. I've never felt like this about anyone before in my entire life. I can't stop thinking about you even when I'm in an important meeting or have a shit load of work to do.

That's not normal for me. When I'm at work it's always work but now it's you. You when I wake up, you when I'm at the office. You when I pass a happy couple on the street. You before I go to bed.

Before I met you, I didn't care about anyone like this except my parents. Women were simply a time fill, a quick lay and I'd be back to business. But I haven't been with anyone since I've met you. I say good morning to random people on the street. I've started to care because of you. And I'd be damned if you stand here and tell me that I don't affect you in the slightest."

"We're friends, Nick. Nothing more." I pull my hand back.

He clasps my face between his hands. "What about all those times you stared at me like you wanted to kiss me? You saw that picture, how happy you were. I made you laugh when you felt like crying. Was that real or was it all in my head, Evelyn?"

He's right, I know he is. But it isn't love. "I was lonely and in a bad place. Yes, I care for you. But it's Marcel. It's always been Marcel." I step away from him.

"He fvcking cheated on you! And he's having a baby with another woman. It can't be him."

"It was all a stupid revenge scheme. He didn't cheat on me. I know you won't believe it but it's the truth. It's like the miracle I prayed for. I don't know, I might sound desperate but I am. He's my Great Love and I couldn't fathom the thought of being without him. I love you, Nick. But like a good friend which you have been. Nothing else."

He looks defeated but says nothing.

I look at him sadly and turn to leave but there is something else that has been nagging at me. So I turn back around and look him dead in the eyes. "Can I ask you something and you be one hundred percent honest with me?" He looks sceptical but nods. "Promise me."

"Evelyn -"

"If you care about me the way you say you do, promise you will tell me the truth."

He sighs and nods again. "I promise."

I hated playing that card but I had to. Now for the moment of truth.

"Did you or did you not know all along that your father was responsible for the Jamisons' deaths?"

He clearly did not expect this question. His eyes widen and he looks like he's searching for something to say.

"The truth," I plead with him.

His eyes gloss over, brimming with tears and he swallows hard. "I knew. I've known for a few years. I'm sorry I lied but I didn't want to lose you. I still don't."

I shake my head, disappointed in the one person I've trusted to be honest with me throughout all of this.

I open the door and just before I step out, he catches my attention. "I love you, Lyn."

I want to hit him. I really do. But instead I walk away. "Goodbye, Nicholas."

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Do we still have Nicklyn shippers?

Sorry!