Dead-Eyed Tsuna (KHR!)

Chapter 1: The Introduction Of Sasagawa Kyouko

Sawada Tsunayoshi learned about the mafia when he was six, and he didn't think much of it.

It was one overheard conversation, in which his father clearly stated he was involved in the mafia, a flashbulb memory caused by the uncharacteristic strain in his voice that had frightened Tsuna at the time. He hadn't really known what the mafia was when he heard it, and when he figured out, he just assumed that his father was doing good by his family by not getting them involved.

In fact, Tsuna was more concerned about his awkward, ham-fisted attempts at being a Normal Father during his visits. And the long, endlessly stretching absences. Tsuna could really do without those.

To be perfectly honest, there was never anything particularly interesting about his life, beyond his father's illicit criminal activities. He lives in a nice, lavish house, with a mother who loves him, and attends a nice, well-rounded school, with teachers that hate him. And students that hate him. And some spare animals that hate him. In fact, it may be entirely possible that every single living creature besides his own parents are in despair of Tsuna's very existence.

When he thinks about it, Tsuna is sure he probably earned it. He's incompetent to superhuman levels. His (currently) brown locks looks more like something crawled onto his head and died there than actual hair. He sucks at socializing, he has the hand-eye coordination of a stumbling baby giraffe, and his test scores are abysmal. It feels terrible, he can feel the holes in himself widening, and he's helpless to stop his ability to retain information from slowly dwindling into nothing.

He can't even learn simple things, like how to dance. Or cook. Or clean. Or anything, really.

People caught onto his uselessness quickly, and with fervour, and his nickname — 'Dame-Tsuna', no-good Tsuna — was so widespread that even his mother uses it. Affectionately, like it's just a cute joke. Tsuna wanted to be okay with this, but he didn'talways want to be dame-Tsuna. He wants it to be a phase like his mother seems to think it is, but...but...

Tsuna thinks that thought was when his spirit really started falling apart.

He used to have terrible anxiety, but somehow his responses became dull and uninspired. He didn't have the energy to be terrified. Even as the anxiety shook his bones, he could barely muster up the twitches and jumps that had once came naturally to him.

The calmness of his body made him less clumsy, but the nickname never went way.

Dame-Tsuna.

Dame-Tsuna.

Dame-Tsuna.

Dame-Tsuna gets bad grades. Dame-Tsuna forgets where he's going half the time. Dame-Tsuna forgot to do his homework. Dame-Tsuna got all the answers wrong on the test. Dame-Tsuna's failing PE. Dame-Tsuna makes every team he's on lose.

Dame-Tsuna is worthless.

His will leaked out of him until there was barely a drop of it left, until he couldn't even be upset any more, until he didn't even have the energy to start hating himself. Failure stopped looking like failure. It was just him. It was just the way he was.

Everyone seemed to expect that, so he did too.

~x~

"Seriously, again!?"

Tsuna stares blankly at the ceiling of the gymnasium, holding a hand to his throbbing cheek. He doesn't even bother trying to go after the basketball gently rolling away. It's their fault for throwing it at him. Were they just looking for an excuse to call him useless again?