Never Be the Same

Never Be the Same Three

Three

                Beck pushed his way through the throng of students in the halls at three o’clock. Something about being the end of the day seemed to make students at Thompson High forget they weren’t alone in the building. A few people glared at Beck as he bumped into them with no remorse, but he could care less.

                He didn’t even bother stopping at his locker on the way out of the building. Once the cool October air brushed against him he made a beeline for his mother’s station wagon.

                When he slid into the passenger seat and closed the door, Mrs. Alistair turned to look at her only son. “Are you sure about this? One-hundred percent sure?” she sounded uneasy, like the prospect of getting a drug prescribed for her own child was unnerving.

                He nodded his head once, keeping his eyes fixed forward. The hardest thing was not admitting to his mom that he wasn’t ‘normal’, it was admitting it to himself.

                Beck, as doctors explained to him when he initially woke up, had post-traumatic stress disorder. And from the way he acted in the cafeteria he realized he wasn’t going to get a handle on it without a little assistance.

                “You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to, mom,” he cleared his throat and cracked his window open a smidge. “I don’t want you to have to sit through that.”

                His mom swerved to miss a mammoth sized pot hole near the curb. “No, honey I,” she paused, watching the car in front of her that continued to hammer on the breaks every few minutes. “If you want, then I guess you can go in by yourself.”

                Beck watched the defeated look cross over his mother’s face and felt guilty. She only wanted to help him; she just wanted what was best for him. “Mom I didn’t mean anything bad,” he felt like a kid who just disappointed his mother by peeping under girls’ dresses. He absolutely hated the feeling. “I just didn’t think you wanted to hear a doctor tell you there’s something wrong with your son…”

                He looked up when she slid a hand onto his knee. “I know, I’m still trying to come to grips on just how old you are now. You don’t need me to do everything for you anymore; you getting hurt just made me want to shelter you,” he could hear the tears in her voice before he saw them stream down her face.

                He covered her hand with his own. “I love you mom, I’m sorry for scaring you with the football accident,” Beck kept his eyes downcast as he sniffled.

                Something about this day was breaking him down to a puddle of emotions. First, with the news on Adrianna, and then nearly choking Brittany. He knew, deep down, that going to the doctor was going to fix him. It was going to stop him from being an emotional wreck and get him back on track.

                “I love you too Beck,” she pulled into the hospital parking lot and stopped in front of the entrance. She threw the car into park and turned so she was facing her only son. “I want to help you, regardless of how I have to do it.”

                A warm smile crossed Beck’s face before he pulled himself out of the passenger seat of his mom’s station wagon. The automatic doors opened before him and he sucked in an uneasy breath; the funky clean hospital smell surrounding him entirely.

                He walked towards the small cubical off to the side with a bright red sign above it. His fingers tapped nervously against the counter top as he waited to be addressed. Finally, an older nurse with graying hair acknowledged him, “Can I help you with anything dear?”