Dan's POV
My aunt Marlaina was in the hospital. The Aunt who was there for me more than my parents were.
"She had a stroke." I explained to Phil the next day, trying not to cry.
"Oh Dan, I'm so sorry."
Phil hugged me tight and I couldn't hold in my tears any longer. He rubbed lazy circles on my back and didn't let me go until I stopped crying.
"It's going to be okay. Im sure she'll be fine." He said, holding me by my arms.
"Thank you" I said
He brought me in for another bear hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder.
"You'll be okay." he murmured to me in a soft voice.
He rocked us back and forth for a little then he told me to watch a movie or something to get my mind off it. So I did. I tried to find a happy movie but I didn't even really want to watch one. I didn't want to watch YouTube either. I didn't want to play a game or read a book or do anything.
I wanted to be back in Phil's arms. I wanted to rest my cheek on his shoulder. I wanted to feel close to him again.
I thought about how warm his chest was, how his hand felt electric when we both reached for the spatula, how attractive his body was.
But I'm not gay...
As I thought about more adorable aspects of Phil like his smile and eyes, I couldn't help but cry again.
I miss my aunt, I'm scared for her and Im confused about Phil.
The two most important people don't make sense anymore.
I pictured the strongest woman I've ever known laying in a hospital bed. My only hope in middle and high school, my rock.
When my mom called me, she didn't give much description on how she was doing. She just explained how she was watching TV with her and then..it just..happened.
I cried harder.
I tried to think about Phil again. At least he made me happy...but I still thought about my aunt.
Eventually I fell asleep. You never sleep well when you fall asleep crying though. I had bad dreams about the worst possibilities with my aunt. I woke up a few times too, but eventually I fell asleep for good.
***
When I woke up, I decided to avoid Phil until I knew how I felt. Easier said than done.
I thought it over again and again. I couldn't tell if I liked him. Yeah, I liked his hugs and I liked when I put my hand on his but still...this is my best friend. If I like him I'll fuck up everything.
I decided I cared enough. I couldn't tell if I liked Phil, but I cared enough to find out. Besides, Phil is bi. Maybe things wouldn't be too awkward.
That works.
I thought about Aunt Marly as I walked down the hall to the kitchen for breakfast but Phil wasn't there.
"Phil?" I called
No reply.
I looked around and found a sticky note stuck to the cabinet
"Went to get coffee, be back soon : )"
I ate some cereal and flopped on the couch and checked my phone.
Mum: Aunt Marlys not doing too well : (
Me: Should I come visit??
I felt tears well up.
Mum: Not yet. If she gets any worse you might have to though
Me: okay. :,(
Mum: I have to go to work, love. Have a good day, sweetie
Me: you too
I read our texts over and over again.
What did she mean by "you might have to" ? Does Mum think Aunt Marly is dying?
I started to cry as Phil opened the door and chimed "good morning."
I didn't answer. As soon as he saw me he ran over to comfort me again. I stood up so I could really hug him the way we did yesterday.
He didn't ask what was wrong. He didn't pull away until I was done. He was just there for me.
I can't fuck this up.
(A/N)
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