S.H.O.F.

How H.O.F. Ruins My Life

Dear Diary, 

It's log entry number 103. I'm proud of myself being someone who actually found a good use of notebooks and a way to practice my handwriting. No one will ever see you don't worry, they can't, they won't find it unless they're a Criminal Investigation Officer searches for evidence to prosecute my murderer. Yes, I do think that I will be murdered for my death. If you really deep dive and think about it, when you die, it only hurts because of the pain, not because you die. In movies and books, life comes at the drop of a pin through space while death comes like the blow of a feather. It sounds weird that a 12 year old of my age would be talking about this but a person with my knowledge would think that I have my life down packed.  Well, the truth is. . . I don't.

I can't lie, I never really thought about life being able to sustain in the competition with death. If you think hardly about it, you know that death seems to come more often than life does. So which is really winning? Death, is it not? Can you show me the car fax to prove that? Can you show me any evidence? And if you can, the question was rhetorical.

Sorry diary, I know I'm rambling right now but I need to pour out my feelings because I won't see Mikaela or anyone else for the matter until Monday. It's freaking Friday evening. Life sucks to the extent that I can't wait for school, but when I get to school, it sucks even worse and brings me back to when I desperately wished it was here. My mind is like a nonstop whirlwind and can't control it. I wonder if the wolves in Teen Wolf  learning how to control their shifts is applicable in this case. They find an anchor or they use anger like Derek or are just a necessary evil like Peter. But I can't find an anchor. I have searched, trust me I have, and have found myself to no avail that I did so much digging to find nothing. 

So where am I? Thanks for asking diary! I'm at home cuddled with my bed, you and I. I never socialize with my family anymore. I did when I was younger and was well forced into family activities that sucked but I don't spare the glances or the small hi's or bye's. I like to save my breath for the very last one I take. Yes, I am a very weird child, what else is new. I have 4 brothers from my dad's side. Then I have 5 other unknown kids from my mother's side. I don't know the other 5 children because I don't care to know them and they never even cared to come save me from those horrible family band performances we would do for the town. Ugh, those truly sucked diary, I'm telling you. 

"Kat!! Come downstairs! . . . . Now" He yells at me. I hate it when he yells, to me, he actually has no right to yell, last time I checked he isn't part of the family and this is a family townhouse. 

Well diary, as you can see, I gotta go, but you know I will shut him up so quick. So I will see you later.

Katrina. . .Out!

He  commanded me to leave the circumference of my warm bed to please himself! Oh boy, was he going to pay for this, he was going to do more than that. I stormed out of my room, barging into his which, in my opinion should be in the basement but no, my father should live there instead. I just walked right in because I didn't expect my mom to be in there since she left for work before I went to my room which was after I got home from school which was around noon. 

What I saw terrified my eyes! He was in bed with my sister! My full blood sister! MY SISTER! NOT HIS DAUGHTER! MY MOTHER'S DAUGHTER! HE WAS ON TOP OF MY SISTER! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

"GET OFF OF HER NOW JACOB!" I was furious. How dare he think he can be treating my sister as whatever. Although there was a possibility she willingly got into bed with him, I like to see it as though I am saving them or doing them the favour. I hate always being the victim because I won't always be rescued by a knight in shining armour, I'll have to get somewhere by myself or face the best of a demon hiding in a human form or body. I wish I could have done something to help her, but reality is I couldn't. What could I possibly do without forcing myself into something I won't even be able to handle? He is the main reason I am always in my diary, why it has become my best friend. I can't bear to comprehend what he is up to on a regular basis because I'm scared that if I try to stop it, he will be my murderer. I don't want to die, I deserve way much more, I deserve another shot at living life.

I just watched silently. They didn't hear me when I had slammed the door, they were too busy. It was when I heard her cry that I knew she couldn't have been doing it willingly.

"I-I-I'm I'm here." I croaked. I surprised my voice had failed me even though I had done so much to preserve it, I guess those Hi's and bye's really had no affect on me. Or maybe it was because I am so scared of him.

"I'm here!" My voice boomed. There we go, that's the boldness I was looking for!

They both turned around and I realized that it wasn't my sister he was in top of, it was. .. . it was. . . .. her.

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So how'd you guys like this chapter?? I liked it to, I took my nice sweet time to write it too! 

Please vote and comment if you like! Sorry for the sophisticated writing people! Love ya!