Nothing Is Real | Seokjin

n i n e t e e n

He started to unzip the dress , chills were all over my body .

I want to die right here .

He started moving his hand up and down my back , he's a freaking pervert , he thinks I'm sleeping but that doesn't stop him for touching me.

He coughs and I take this chance to turn my myself around , now I'm facing him .

Just kill me .

"Sally .. I"

"YOU WHAT?" I say while trying to sit down putting both of my hands on my dress not wanting it to fall .

"I ... you know what! I'm your freaking husband and I can touch you whenever I want and anywhere I want"

"But I told you I'm not ready .. yet!" I say and he coughs .

"When are you going to be ready huh?" He puts one of his hands on my shoulder and starts pulling the dress down .

"SEOJUN NO!" I yell and push him away .

I feel exposed , I didn't want him to see me half naked .

I start crying "Seojun please don't touch me"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN! I'M YOUR FREAKING HUSBAND" He slaps me harder than he ever did and leaves the room .

The only thing I'm good at , is ruining my life with my own hands , because I'm stupid , Simple as that .

Seojun enters the room again .

"I'm going out" He says while I wipe my tears .

I honsetly don't care, He can go kill himself and I won't blink twice .

"Okay , take ca-" I get cut by him locking the door , It's my mistake ! I shouldn't have said anything .

I can hear him coughing as he walks away .

Why does he keep coughing ?

Who cares ...

*phonecall*

Mom: Babyy , how's everything going?

Me: Yeah everything's fine ...

Mom: You don't sound okay?

Me: I think I'm getting sick .

Me: Sorry mom

Mom: Should I come over or will your husband be bothered?

Me: No , you don't have to come , love you

I say and hang up .

I really don't want to continue living .. If I died now , I'd be happy ...

I don't want to become Seojun's and I don't want to ruin Seokjin's and the members lives . maybe suiciding is the solution after all ..

I want to die feeling comfy , that's the least I can ask for . Right?

I go to 'our' closet and take out a pyjama .

I try opening the room's door to go the kitchen to bring a knife or something , but the door's locked 

F.uck you Seojun , I can't even die because of you .