Jamaica

Chapter Eleven

I couldn't sleep that night, every time my master would move closer, I'd get butterflies in my stomach all because of his toned muscles and perfect jaw and soft hair. I could swear I was losing my mind at the time; all I could think about was how his body felt when he put his head on my shoulder and held me tight while he slept, the way his neglected locks tickled the sensitive skin of my neck, the gentle rise and fall of his body. I shouldn't have invited this monster into my bed. What was I thinking!? My heart was beating in my throat. This is such a horrible idea! I scolded myself as I drowned in my own regret. There was a vampire - a disgusting blood sucking creature that belonged in hell - sleeping on top of me in my bedroom because I was stupid enough to volunteer to embrace the bastard. If I was going to stay sane, I had to ensure that I never forgot that about him despite everything I now knew about him.
I didn't even know why I really did it in the first place. Why or how I made myself feel like I had to help him because he was miserable. The king telling me to help Dimitri was not and could not be the only reason. I guess it was because I never got a second chance in life and no one had ever put their faith in me so I guess I couldn't bring myself to be selfish and deny my master that based on the fact that he was the Prince of the things I despised my whole life. Everybody deserves to be treated well. Besides, it was the right thing to do... I was brought out of my thoughts by my master. He was getting out of bed. Thank God!
"Are you okay, master?" I asked, looking at his shadow through the dim light.
"It doesn't fucking matter. Stay the fuck out of my business, this..." he said, waving his hands around him and I. "Is never happening again nor will you ever speak about it with anyone, am I clear?" He was suddenly nothing like the broken down man I wanted to help anymore. His eyes were still dull but instead of sadness, they held the same resentment I saw in them the first time I saw him. Once again, I felt stupid but I chose not to give up because I wouldn't have wanted someone to give up on me.
"Yes master..." I mumbled.
"Good girl." He said as he put his shirt back on and left the room. I felt a pang of hurt deep in my chest but I refused to admit it. Just because I want to help him change doesn't mean he deserves the satisfaction.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
It had been weeks since what happened between my master and I and I hardly ever saw him. He left early in the morning and came back late at night. My life was almost perfect again, I guess, but there was still a small part of me that genuinely wondered how he was; if he still had nightmares... There were nights when I could hear him punching holes in the walls and then have them fixed the next morning only to punch them again as soon as they were filled in. The temptation to find him and force him to let me fix him was growing each day and I couldn't believe how much I wanted see him. I'm crazy - how can I want to see the man who made me his slave, beat me and is the Prince of fricking dystopia!? My thoughts were muddled and I couldn't understand a thing anymore so I lay bed and stared blankly at the lamp for fear of giving in and going to my master.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up to feeling the bed dip and seeing my master taking off his shirt and crawling towards me. My heart began racing and I was a little frightened by the fact that my master was very unpredictable and anything could happen.
"Master?"
"Hmmm?" He hummed. His soft baritone was like music and once again, I melted like butter under a hot knife. Master was shamelessly hovering over me using his strong muscular arms to keep from crushing me with his weight. His eyes, his beautiful electric blue eyes, searched mine for something I'll never understand (not that I would be able to understand anything at that point) and I was so lost that I forgot that he was still waiting for me to ask him my question.
"Are you okay?" I whispered, my voice shaking. Master sighed and got off me to lay next to me.
"Jamaica, I think we both know that I'm already fucked up..." He chuckled humourlessly.
"I'm here for you..." That was probably one of the hardest things I'd ever had to say... That I was going to make myself a shoulder to cry on for a monster of a man but the harder part was accepting that I meant it. Master then pulled me to him and held me tight with my head on his chest. "Promise me that you will let me help you... Please?" I asked humbly.
"I'm not making any fucking promises as if we're fucking married." He spat. "You're not my saviour. I don't fucking need one." He muttered as he pulled me closer. I knew I shouldn't have let him do such things to me but I guess it felt good to feel wanted and needed at least once in a while, even if the person who made me feel that way was not willing to accept it and was rotten inside and out...
"Do you still dream about her?" I questioned in an attempt to make conversation and avoid the awkward silence.
"Yes." Master sighed.
"Who is she?" I pushed on.
"My mother..." He sounded pained and distant. I didn't like it at all.

Guys, I'm so so so sorry for not updating in such a long time 😢, my Internet decided to misbehave and well you know the rest... I'm also really sorry that the chapter is so short... The thing is, I spent hours writing something but I ended up hating all 2000 words of it... Soz again, guys...

Thank you guys so much for over 1k reads... I'm so chuffed, you people really make me happy. You make this so worth it and I adore you all (even if you don't like the book 😌😉)
Byeeee

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