iSeddie

Chapter 40

A/N: Hi guys! I don't think many of you are expecting this chapter to be like this, but I think you'll like it! I was going to update yesterday, but I'm sooo hooked on Suits and White Collar, that I just had to watch every single episode till now! Anyway, gotta go to sleep, class tomorrow... UGH IT'S SATURDAY! I'm going to cry!

Freddie's POV

I was amazed. The way Sam interacted with the kids just amazed me. She was so... ugh! AMAZING! Sophie approached me after Sam went to the bathroom, and said she was a keeper, well, that I can agree. I had just the perfect day, happiness was all around me, and I never felt so in love in my whole life, but at the end of the day something felt wrong. Sam was distant, almost lost in her thoughts, and nothing I did seemed to snap her back to reality. She tried to deny, and told me she was just tired, but I knew her better, and I knew something was wrong. Like always, she chose to close herself and not share anything with me, and that made me so mad I couldn't even begin to explain. It wasn't fair, now we're together, we're supposed to share everything, we supposed to trust each other and no matter what help each other thru everything. At least this was what I thought.

She didn't say a word in the trip back home. Her excuse was these kids are so tiny, so young and already had gone thru so much. It was easy to believe at first, because that was the exact same thing I thought when my mother took me there for the first time, but deep down inside I knew that wasn't the whole reason why she was acting that way. However, I decided to not push the subject any further, I believed she would open up to me when she wanted to, when she was ready. As frustrating as the wait might be, it was necessary, I wanted her to come to me willingly, and not because I pushed her. We said goodbye in the hallway, she kissed me and without a word disappeared behind Carly's door.

I took a long shower, not as long as the ones Carly takes when she's frustrated, but long enough to think about a few things. Today was easily one of the best days of my life, seeing Sam interact that way with the kids made my heart skip a beat, I mean, would she act like that with our kids? What am I doing? We're dating for two days and I'm already thinking about kids? Don't be such a girl Benson! I wondered if she felt the same... God I doubt she's even thinking about that, come on! Get your shit together dude!

The day would be perfect if I knew what was wrong with her, but I didn't want to push her into saying, she would tell me when she was right. Only God knows how long that would be, but I wondered if it had anything to do with Patrice. God! I hope not, although I'm happy and flattered that Sam is jealous of me. What a great feeling... but I don't want her to be insecure about us that would be bad. I've worked a lot to get where we are today; the worst thing that could happen is have to go back to the start. I love that crazy blond in a way I could never love anyone else, besides Patrice is not my type. She's too... slutty. No offense. Anyway, I wanted Sam to come to me willingly. A guy shouldn't have to force his girlfriend to tell him her worries and fears; she must do it because she wants to share things with him, not because she's being pressured.

Not bothering on knocking on the door, I just let myself in, like every other time. Carly wasn't in the living room, and Spencer wasn't anywhere. Maybe they're upstairs in her room talking or something. Maybe Sam is in there. Maybe she's telling Carly what happened. I trust my girlfriend and I want her to tell me things, but I had to fight the urge to press my ear against the door. I sighed, away from Carly's door, not wanting to hear anything, not even by accident.

"Carly? Sam?" I called "Carly are you in there?"

"Hey Freddie" Carly opened the door a tiny bit, enough for me to see her head.

"Hey Carly... is everything okay?" I tried to peek, but she didn't allow me.

"I just got off the shower. Do you need anything?" she smiled nervously.