Don't Let Me Go (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter One

It’s cold. So cold. Please someone, anyone, pick me up. Take me out of the frost. The bitterness in the air is going to strangle me. The water in my eyes is going to freeze as soon as I let my tears fall. I want to die. Please God, let me die. I thought you loved me. I thought you’d always be there when I needed you most. Where are you now God? Are you up in heaven laughing at me? Are you watching me with pity in your eyes? Is this a sick game to you? Is my life just a game to you? Maybe it is-maybe my life is just a fun game you like to play. Perhaps you like my pain, you like my tears. If I let them out will you stop my pain? Please?

I sniffled and shivered. Maybe God likes it when I cry. I mean, I have been doing it a lot these past weeks. Crying and trying to live. I don’t like these streets. The people here try to use me. They think I’m some sort of whore. They think I’ll sell my body just because I’m standing on a corner freezing my bum off. I never thought I’d be capable of actually hating people, but dear lord; I really hate the people who stop to talk to me.

“Hey little boy, lost your mommy?”

“Oh how the rich have fallen.”

“Hey baby, looking for some fun?”

I cringe inwardly at that last statement. Mama wouldn’t approve of that statement. She wouldn’t approve of a lot of things if she knew where I was now. Father wouldn’t care. He’d think this was a good learning experience. But with this ‘learning experience’ he’s not coming to pick me up. He’s leaving me out here because he doesn’t care. He never did. And….neither did mama.

I slide down the wall and let a few tears fall from my eyes. She didn’t care enough to stop him. She didn’t want me either. I’m useless to them now that I can’t provide them a grandchild. Someone to take over the empire when I’m dead and gone. But it’s not my fault! I tried to make the urges go away, I really did. But they kept coming back over and over again. No matter how hard I tried to like a girl it never happened. I just found myself becoming more disgusted with the opposite sex.

I sighed into the frosty air, watching my breath cloud in the air as if I had just taken a drag from a cigarette. It always interested me, the way breaths did that in cold air. It just seems like magic to me, I don’t care who tries to give me the scientific analysis of it, it’ll always be magic to me. I held my breath, feeling a cough twist its crocked way up my throat. Oh no, this one will really hurt.

I bent over and practically hacked up my lungs. I squinted my eyes, feeling them water even more. My throat burned as I took in a gasp of cold air. It was refreshing in a way, but also caused a chill to run down my spine. Stupid cold, I hate December. I’ve always been one for the welcoming warmth of spring or summer.

Warm thoughts don’t make you warm Harry; jackets, blankets, and homes make you warm. But I suppose I’m without all of those items. I deserve all of this though. All of those times I passed by homeless people and only offered a few dollars. Now I know just how hard it really is. The cold, the hunger, the loneliness. Truthfully, I’ve never felt so alone every with hundreds of people pushing me out of the way, I still feel so alone. Its torment watching all these happy people walk past without a care in the world…was I really like that, so ignorant to all the horrible things happening around me?

I shake my head and look up at the bright lights of the square. This place is too crowed to sleep in, I suppose I’ll go to the park again. I suck in a big breath of air, and walk right into the crowd. It’s like a bloody jungle in here, people yapping in their different calls about things that weren’t actually important. Maybe I was like them.

{A/N: Here's the first chapter dears! I know it's short, but hey, its a new story! Haha, hope you guys like it! Until next time,

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~Kd <3}