The God Reborn

Chapter 18

 "Don't you remember the Song of Faith?" Octavia demanded. "Lord Vinicius is testing our faith, just as the verse teaches us."

But wicked Cruz didn't know

That our god could not be slain

He watched his world below

And planned to rule again

But first the god would see

If his peoples' hearts were true

To those who still believed

He'd grant the world anew

The mighty god drew his sword

He lent his holy rage

To slay the heathen horde

To restore the golden age

She glared angrily at Fabian. "How can you propose taking the 22nd north to found a new city, instead of west with the god? We will fail the test of faith, and be cast out!"

In spite of all of his faults, in spite of all the troubling doubts he voiced, Octavia loved Fabian like she had loved her own father. It had been an easy choice to disobey that disloyal fool Claudius and return Fabian to his rightful place as Companion.

But now she was furious at Fabian for forcing her to choose between him and lord Vinicius. She owed Fabian much, but what she owed him paled in comparison to what she owed the one true god. She knew what her choice would be, what it had to be. Yet she didn't want to make Peloma a widow and Remus an orphan, so she would give Fabian one more chance.

She and Fabian were standing in a dry patch of ground set back from where the main body of the 22nd was camped. Octavia had tried to be circumspect; she had allowed Fabian an hour to enjoy being reunited with his family. But she did not feel she could wait any longer to confront him. The company needed orders, and Fabian's words to her before, about leading the 22nd to peace, had left her feeling uneasy. And so she found Fabian as he was playing with his son, and requested to speak with him in private.

"Lord Vinicius has abdicated his leadership of Sanctuary. He deserted the city when it was under attack. All of his people are dead, except for the members of the 22nd you see around you," retorted Fabian.

He sounded tired, even disillusioned. For a moment she felt tenderness for him, understanding of his confusion and doubt. But her sympathy was overwhelmed by a wave of contempt.

"How dare you presume to understand the actions of our benevolent provider!" demanded Octavia angrily. "He allowed Sanctuary to fall to punish those acolytes whose faith was weak. And since you're standing here instead of lying dead in Sanctuary's ruins, you must have deserted the city, too. Was that charge of cowardice justified?"

For a moment, she thought he might strike her, so fierce was the look in his eyes. Then he sighed and looked away, clearly working to control his emotions. "There was nothing I could do in Sanctuary's defense. The walls and towers were falling around me. I left to find the 22nd. It was the only thing I could hope to accomplish."

"And you've found us, and our valiant protector has rejoined us," Octavia reminded him. "Your duty is unchanged."

And now Fabian looked back up at her. His hands were in fists, and the muscles of his jaw were clenched. "But it is changed," he insisted. "Everything is changed. Nothing the intermediaries taught us is true! Out there in the wilderness, lord Vinicius told me that human and heathen are one blood! He pardoned the godslayer and said the faith was built on lies!"