The doors opened and the music began playing. Natasha took a deep breath, not even feeling a bit nervous. This was all she wanted. He was all she wanted. She took the first step into the church and everyone's eyes turned to her. Natasha smiled, seeing the familiar faces of people she had come to love during the years. If she had known that this is how her life would have turned out when she joined SHIELD so many years ago, she certainly would have joined a lot quicker.
Natasha hadn't had a problem with how she looked, but she had never felt more beautiful than she felt then. The long white dress, the beautiful vail making her red hair glow and the beautiful bouquet in her hand. But what made her feel so beautiful wasn't just her clothes and the surroundings, but his expression as he saw her. Steve's expression. Steve stood in the front of the church, waiting for Natasha to walk up and stand by his side. Steve's blue ocean eyes got watery as he saw his soon to be wife. He smiled at her, dragging his hand over his face. Natasha got emotional at once. She couldn't believe she was actually going to marry the person she loved most in this world. In this world that had been nothing more than cruel to her. He had changed it all. He finally made her happy.
As she reached Steve, he grabbed both of her hands, staring into her eyes. He looked extremely handsome. Then of course, he always did. The priest began to speak but Natasha didn't hear any of it. All she could focus on was Steve. His eyes, his smile and their future together. She was relieved that Steve was the first one to say the vows since everyone had caught her in not paying attention otherwise. After both of them had shared their vows with each other and exchanged rings, Steve gave Natasha another confident smile. She knew that he loved her. He loved her so much. He loved her like no one else had and like no one else would. But she could almost say with a 100% certainty that she loved him even more.
Therefore, because of their strong love for each other, it wasn't really a surprise to either of them as the words "I do" slipped between their lips. "I now pronounce you husband and wife." The priest finished and Natasha felt Steve squeeze her hands a little excitingly. Natasha smiled as Steve took a step closer to her, gently cupping her cheek to kiss her.
Right as Steve's lips were about to touch hers, Natasha woke up by her own loud cries. Her heart twisted over and over in her chest and it felt like someone held her heart in their hand, squeezing it so hard that every drop of happiness fell out of it. It hurt so much that she soon became numb. Her whole body felt numb and Natasha barley felt the tears that streamed down her cheeks like a waterfall. She looked over at the empty side next to hers on the bed, seeing it gaping empty as it had been ever since that mission. The mission when Steve saved her from being shot, by taking the bullet himself.
Natasha had first thought that it hadn't been that serious. Both of them had taken lots of bullets during the years. But when she got to her feet and saw Steve's lifeless body on the ground, she lost it. Her loud screams still echoes in the back of her head each time she goes to sleep at night. Her scream when she realises that the bullet went straight through his heart. The images of the dark red blood surrounding his suit that shared the same colours as the blood in his veins. Her own hands desperately holding over the wound, getting drenched in his blood. Steve's closed eyes and dirty face that became cold, so cold. Her hard grip around his arms as someone tried dragging her away from his body. The memory of her whispering his name as they brought him away.
Natasha stared into the empty space on the bed, not seeing the point anymore. It never stopped. The pain never stopped. "I love you." Natasha cried. "I love you, I love you.." She sobbed, only getting an uncomfortable quiet in return. "Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?" Natasha whispered over and over again as the tears started falling down her cheeks again. "I'm sorry, Natasha." Steve whispered as he sat close to her on the bed. "I didn't want to. I'm so sorry." He whispered, putting his arms around her. Natasha dragged her knees to her chest, burying her face in her arms as she continued to cry out loudly for Steve. "I love you too, Natasha. It will be alright. It will be okay." Steve whispered, but he knew that wasn't the truth. He couldn't come back, he was dead but he couldn't leave her either.
As Natasha looked up again, Steve kissed her lips, her cheeks and the tip of her nose. He tried kissing away her tears and he tried comforting her. But she couldn't feel his kisses. She couldn't feel his arms around her shaking body or his fingers gently trying to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. She couldn't hear him whisper how much he loved her and how much he always would. It had been years since that mission, and Steve would wait as long as it took before Natasha could feel his touch, feel his kisses and hear his voice again.
"Please come back.. I can't live like this anymore." Natasha whispered, wiping away her tears with her palm.
"You have to live, love. I'll be right here waiting for you when the time comes. You can do this. I promise." Steve whispered with a sigh, sitting right next to her for the rest of the night and for many nights to come.
