Frisk's Diary

Chapter 1: Jake Not From State Farm

Welp, here you go.

Action.

I know somebody was waiting for this.

Well, I surprised myself with one of the stupidest plot twists ever invented.

*****

Dipper peered out the window, staring at the woods. He knew there had to be something out there, and he wasn't just thinking about the Gravity Falls norm. No, he sensed that something was very, very wrong.

*****

I got up and looked for my crazy sister, Mabel. She had to be around here somewhere, and she deserved to know about my paranoia. If I could just convince her to search the woods with me... If Ford was paranoid, he'd come along as well. It sounded like a plan, so I jogged down the stairs.

Before I even reached the bottom, I ran straight into a red sweater.

"Dipper! This is urgent!," Ford yelled at me, "Where is your sister?"

I blinked at him, "Uhh, I was just looking for her right now," I said (awkwardly). (Mabel! Don't write in this; it's my turn!)

"Listen to me, Dipper," Ford kneeled in front of me, "Did you feel a wave of energy last night?", I shook my head, "There's a magical imbalance in the forest, so much so that some of the creatures are even freaking out about it. Whatever caused it happened suddenly last night. I'm sure that it's connected to Mt. Ebott somehow, but I'm not sure how."

I took a few moments to think about what he just said, "Maybe McGucket can help. He's got all kinds of gadgets that could help us," I offered. Ford seemed thoughtful about this.

"That might just be what we need," Ford smiled and patted my shoulder, then headed out the door triumphantly, before walking back inside a few moments later, "Where can I find him?"

I sighed, "Try the junkyard."

"Thanks," he said before heading back outside. (Ha, classic!) Shut up, Mabel!

*****

(Timeskip brought to you by Mabel juice!!! =^ .^= )

*****

(I'm so sorry for this next part, folks, but Mabel threatened to put peanut butter in my socks if I didn't let her write a paragraph or two. - Dipper)

Thanks, bro! So here's what happened after that: Dipper kept calling for me, so I came out of my hiding place under the kitchen table. Really, he sucks at hide and seek. (Hey!) Heh, sorry, but it's true.

When I came out, he grabbed me and started rambling about all the stuff Ford told him about, so I said, "Chill, bro, we'll find out when Ford comes back." A few minutes later, Ford and McGucket returned.

They were talking about monsters and mountains or something.

"Dipper, Mabel, find Stan," Ford told us, "We're calling for a family meeting." I saluted to him and took off to go find Grunkle Stan.

I came back with Stan and we all took a seat in the living room. McGucket climbed onto the recliner first, so the rest of us just took a seat on the floor.

"Alright, everybody!" McGucket yelled in his one-of-a-kind voice, "I need ya'll to listen up, here!", he pulled out his laptop which shows a bunch of graphs and such that I was sure nobody understood, "I'm gonna tell ya'll a tale of monsters. Once, a long, long time ago, before I can remember, monsters and humans lived happily together here above ground. Then, one day, some foolish people declared a full out war on their friends, the monsters. They nearly wiped out the whole race, before some magicians and wizards and whatnot sealed them underground with a magic spell-y-majig. Legend has it that the monsters have been trapped under Mt. Ebott ever since," he paused, for a breath,getting weird looks from some of us. Weren't there monsters in Gravity Falls?

McGucket saw this and continued, "I have two theories to explain why there are monsters in Gravity Falls, but I don't know for sure. Either a: weirdness spreads like mushrooms, or two: some of them monsters escaped before the rest of them were trapped."

That explained some of it, at least.

"Furthermore," Great Uncle Ford continued in his classic nerdy way, "Eight children have been reported missing since then. All of them were headed for Mt. Ebott, and only one was ever found. She was... She was dead. The people who saw her said that she was being carried by some satanic goat-like creature. All the others disappeared so long ago that it's safe to assume they're dead, with the exception of one who went missing a few weeks ago."

That was pretty heavy stuff. I had to sit there a moment to let that sink in.

"The monsters must not be too happy about being trapped underground for so long," Dipper said, "But if that goat got out, then how come the rest of the haven't?" It was a valid, but boring question (Shut up, Mabel). Shut up your face!

I kind of zoned out for the rest of it, only picking up on stuff about human souls and stuff. Apparently, a monster needs to absorb a human soul to cross the barrier, and seven souls are needed to break it. They talked on and on about souls and monsters and how to prepare for what would likely be war, until the doorbell rang and I remembered what I shouldn't have forgotten.

"Jake is here!", I yelled, jumping up from my spot on the floor, and immediately regretting it, because my legs were cramped.

"Who?", everybody asked at once. I giggled and opened the door.

Sure enough, a very pale blond teen in a blue hoodie, black shorts, and the most generic shoes you can think of stood there. He grinned at me, his beautiful blue eyes radiating a warmth that I swear reached and still reaches all the way into my soul.

"Hey, family, and McGucket, say hello to my new boyfriend!", I said cheerfully.

Jake looked at them all and smiled, "'Sup."

Dipper looked him up and down. I guess he was just paranoid because this guy probably reminded him of Norman, but, I assure you, this guy was cool.

"Hey, Jack, why are you so white?", McGucket yelled.

Anyone else would've been offended, but not Jake. "I go outside, I swear," he says frantically, and then laughs.

Yep.

Nothing wrong with this guy!

(I don't trust him.)

Dipper, you'll see! He's just a regular guy!

You'll see.

Immediately after I went to Greasy's Diner with him, which was the. Best. Date. Ever. I came home and we wrote this! But if you want to know about our date, then too bad! That was an in-the-moment thing, so I wasn't gonna waste my time taking notes!

(Okay, Mabel, let's close this book before you break into full on rant mode.)

Okay, okay, fine. Until next time!

*****

Wow. That took a lot longer than I expected. Between guitar lessons, piano practice, chores, food, and computer crashes, I still somehow managed to piece this together, and, honestly, it turned out a lot better than I expected. So just... yeah. I'm typing this up on Google Docs and for some reason in the related topics section is aunt. Why would I need to do research on aunt? Literally just aunt. I love it yet hate it at the same time. It's a true love/hate relationship. Me and this related topics column. Now before I go on a massive tangent and end up telling ya'll about the time I broke my finger, I shall wish you all a patriotic Fourth of July, unless you happen to not live in the US, in which case, just enjoy your summer... Unless you live in the southern hemisphere in which case wow geography is hard. Remember: the Fourth of July is not about celebrating the freedoms we have here in America. No, it's about lighting the sky on fire, blowing up the ground, and sitting in our busted lawn chairs as we watch Armageddon unfold before our very eyes.

Salutations or something.   

(Like the last picture, I do not own this picture either.)