Sweet Disposition (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 15

I slipped one of Harry's t shirts over my head since none of mine were clean. It was a little big but I didn't mind. Next I dug out a pair of my riding pants and shimmed into them.

I jumped when someone grabbed me from behind but I relaxed when I realized It was Harry who had probably just woken up.

He hooked his chin over my shoulder, sighing sadly. It had been a week since we made up but things weren't completely normal. Harry had fallen into a dark hole and he hardly smiled or even pretended to.

"I have to work late tonight. Mark said I could work a few extra hours now and then."

I broke out of his grip to put my boots on and he frowned. However, he didn't say anything, he just pulled on jeans and a tshirt. I had to help him get his jeans over his cast.

That's how it had been lately. He would clean the stalls then go to work and not come back until eleven o'clock or so at night. I did my lesson then spent the rest of my day either going on a trail ride or looking through Harry's things.

I knew it was rude to snoop, but he never talked about himself so it was the only way I could find out things about him.

There was an awkward moment when I found a dusty bottle of lube and some condoms in the back of his medicine cabinet. It was obvious that they hadn't been used in years but it was still strange to me to see that kind of stuff.

My lesson went well and the day passed surprisingly quick.

After showering I put on my glasses and picked up one of Harry's photo albums. It was from nine years ago.

I flipped through the pages smiling to myself at the happy boy with his family. When I finished I closed the book and carefully placed it back in the pile with the others.

I played on my phone until Harry returned at 2 AM. I glanced up briefly as he stripped off his clothes. I blushed, staring back down at my phone as the condoms and lube came to mind

We had exchanged hand jobs and blow jobs but we hadn't gone all the way. We almost had once but Paul interrupted us to talk to Harry. Talk about an awkward moment. It had been plainly obvious what we were about to do.

He entered the bathroom silently and I continued to play on my phone until he came out with a towel around his waist.

He leant against the door frame, yawning as he rubbed his shoulder.

"Why don't you stay here tomorrow. You're only going to get more sore."

For the last few days he had been saying his body felt like lead. It was obvious when he walked.

"You know I can't do that." He stifled another yawn as he pulled on a pair of boxers. "I've got less than two months and I don't even have half the money I need for the surgery.

He sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at his feet sadly. I hated it because when he was sad it made me sad. I still wasn't used to the whole feelings thing.

"Come lay on your stomach." I patted the spot beside me.

He raised an eyebrow to which I just patted the bed again.

He obeyed and I went searching through my bag until I found my lotion.

"What're you doing?" He mumbled sleepily.

I straddled his hips and squirted some lotion onto the middle of his back. He flinched and I held his shoulders down so he wouldn't get up.

"What is that? Why is it so cold?" He snapped.

"Relax, it's just lotion."

"Why do you have lotion?"

"How else am I supposed to keep my skin so soft?" I rolled my eyes.

I began to massage him starting at his shoulders then his neck and slowly moving down his back.

Every once in a while he would grunt or whine if I hit a particularly sore spot.

"You're really good at this." His voice was laced with sleep.

"I get weekly massages back home and I kinda just picked up on what they were doing. Of course they use oil instead of lotion but this is all I had."

He was quiet for a while and I thought he had fallen asleep, so I washed my hands, relieved myself, then returned to the bed. I pulled the covers over us both and cudled into his chest.

"Louis?" He startled me by speaking. "Thanks for, you know, putting up with me. I know I'm a pain in the ass."

"Yeah, but you're my pain in the ass." A tired smile appeared on his face and his eyes fluttered open.

I kissed his nose playfully and his smile widened.

"I just mean that sometimes I feel like you understand, and not everyone can do that. I just...I love you."

"I love you too babe. Now get some sleep."

He pecked me on the lips before turning over and scooted back until I got the hint and spooned him.

**

*2 Weeks Later*

Harry was gone before I woke up. Every other day he had to go into work at the hardware store and they required him to be there at five in the morning, which meant he had to get up at four so he could take care of the horses before he left.

I hardly saw him at all. He kept picking up little jobs here and there and he wouldn't be back until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes he got three or four hours of sleep if he was lucky. I tried to persuade him to take a day off, seeing as he was exhausted, but he refused and only got angry when I mentioned it.

He accused me of wanting Missy to die and that's why I didn't want him to go to work. Then later that night he cried for about an hour as I held him. His lack of sleep was taking a toll on him.

I dressed quickly, wearing one of Harry's shirts. I had gotten into the habit of that, but he didn't care because he liked my beige sweater and took it to work with him when he worked inside in the air conditioning.

I saddled up Snowy and joined the other riders in the ring. Right from the start I could tell something wasn't right. Snowy was walking funny and when I wanted him to trot he would stomp his foot and back up. At one point he tried to run back to the barn, but I stopped him. After a couple smacks with the crop he settled down some. His gaits still felt weird, but I pushed it to the back of my mind and focused on the course the trainers were giving us. I got through the first three jumps just barely and when Snowy landed on the fourth jump I braced myself because I knew I was about to get thrown.

He bucked, kicked, and reared until I had blisters on my hands from holding the reins so tight even though I had gloves on. I was fine until his started running too and then I went flying. I hit something hard and then the ground. When I opened my eyes everything was fuzzy and it sounded like I was underwater.

I could hear Snowy's hooves pounding the dirt as he galloped to the barn and people running after him and shouting, and I could feel hands pulling at me, but I couldn't react to any of it.

I just closed my eyes and let the darkness cover my body until I didn't feel anything.