My head hit the desk as I suddenly woke up from my short nap and looked around me to see if anyone saw. I don't think anyone did, its okay. I rub my eyes and my blurred vision fades, I didn't get much sleep last night.. but I don't talk about why. I remember I'm in class and try to pay attention. But the teacher's voice is so boring and makes me want to go back to sleep. The headache I've had since this morning still hasn't faded and I want to vomit but my attendance is so low and my grades even lower. Even my dyslexia prohibits me from reading the notes on the board but I don't want anyone to know. I don't want any attention to be on me.
"Abi, what did I just say?" my teacher said loudly to make sure everyone heard.
"Fuck.." I mumbled under my breath. I hate that name its not mine.. "I don't know miss." I try to draw attention away from myself by talking quieter but not quiet enough that she wouldn't hear.
"Then I suggest you pay attention. We have exams in less than 3 weeks young lady".
When I hear that I have the urge to put my fist through the wall but I refrain myself.
"I'm sorry miss".
The bell (or horrid beeping noise that my school thought was a good idea) rings and I grab my stuff and leave class swiftly. My friend Cassidy, or Cass as I like to call her, finds herself next to me.
"Hey what's up Jesse?"
Thats so much better. A smirk forms on my chubby, rough face. "Thank you Cass, just a load of shit thats on my mind. I don't really wanna talk about it but thank you".
"It's okay. I'm here if you need to talk, got it?" She said making her dorky finger guns after she punches my arm,
"Got it," I laugh.
I'm going to I.T. (Information Technology). At least I get to see Maddie. She helps a lot. She's so supportive and probably one of my main support stream but she doesn't know that.
"Fuck I need to catch up on my coursework otherwise I'm screwed" I said to her stressfully.
"Hey, it's okay we'll just finish this Monday after school okay? Then we're ahead for Thursday's deadline" Maddie replied to me calmly.
I don't understand how she can just make everything seem that simple, even to me! She's like the most chill person I know. My I.T. coursework is shit. The work is shit, the teacher is shit, even the classroom smells like shit. I hate it. I just wanna go home and drink my problems away but she won't know that..
"Hey, do you wanna come over mine tonight and we can play some xbox and take our anger out by killing virtual people?" Maddie jokes as she nudges me with her elbow, not taking her eyes of her screen, nor her hands off her keyboard.
"Uhh, I can't, I'm a bit busy. I'm sorry" I reply back shyly.
"No its alright. Some other time maybe."
"Sure."
The bell/annoying beeping piece of shit went again and I reach for my jacket and headphones before picking my bag up to leave the room.
"Hey are you okay man?" She scared me as I walked out of the room.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm totally fine I swear." I reply hesitantly.
"You sure? You really don't look it. You're shaking and you're pale as fuck too. You almost look hungover and its three in the afternoon!"
"I'm not hungover Maddie I swear, just get off my back okay?!" I push her out of my way and turn my music up.
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YOU ARE READING
I'm Not Okay I Swear
Teen FictionTRIGGER WARNING DRUGS, SELF HARM AND ABUSE A mysterious teen guy is pushing away his friends and his grades are slipping as a result of his addictions. Will he overcome his mental illnesses as well as his drug addiction or will he give in to his min...
