The Luna's Nerd

~Chapter 16~

My palms are sweaty and my brain is going into an overdrive. Today.

Today is the day I'm going to figure out everything with Nicole by my side. I'm tired of wondering how it's possible. It is possible, isn't it? I'm the kid with a future that's untold, and yet here I am stuck on the idea of love.

'Denial.' Hisses the voice in my head.

"Shut up! What do you know!" I finally exclaim and my voice echoes throughout the trees.

'I know you, Tyler. Such a shame your mother put me to rest.' He replies and I search around me for the source. What the hell is going on? I feel like the voice is literally inside my head.

"I don't care! Just leave me alone!" I hear an animal growl loudly, and it doesn't take me long to realize the growl came from my own mouth.

"1 step. 2 step. Shimmy shimmy. You're getting it!" A familiar voice laughs. Mom.

"M-Mom?" I question the silence.

"Just a little longer. 4 steps back and to the left." Her voice continues. I dig in my pocket and find an old home video I uploaded to my laptop and phone playing. It happens to be the one I was watching earlier during lunch.

Dancing Lessons for the Boys is what the video's labeled as. My heart swells at the sight of my mom confessing her pride for me as I danced around following every mark and reaching every milestone. I pause the video and envelope myself to the silence. A sudden fear strikes me that makes me feel cold.

What if Nicole sees this side to me? The one where I'm hearing voices in my head. I think I'm actually going mentally insane.

'We all go a little crazy sometimes. I mean, you would know, Tyler, wouldn't you?' The voice asks.

How does he know?

'I know everything about you, Tyler.' He adds and makes my skin crawl. I quicken my pace and find myself at the familiar opening. A sudden relief washes over me and I feel an exerting calm.

Nicki is on the ground, legs crossed, gazing at the water. I picture the wolf from the other day. Her soft fur and gentle touch. I creep behind Nicole and I'm surprised she can't hear me since she seems to have the senses of a bear. I cover her eyes with my hands. "Guess who?"

She's shocked by my presence and her back pressed against me.  "Really, Ty?" She questions sarcastically. I follow her stance and sit beside her. "What a way to surprise me." She comments.

Her words stop processing in my mind and her clouded gray eyes sparkle as a small grin cracks on her lips. Her beauty...

The voice in my head chimes in, 'Our beauty.'

I realize I'm staring at her like a creep and flush. "Oh, I um... I just... I don't know." I drop my eyes to the ground. I mess around in my bag to distract myself as her musical laughter fills my ears and makes my heart leap. I take out our drawing and a few coloring pencils.

"It looks great, but um..." Her voice drowns out my thoughts and I feel suddenly dizzy around her. Nicole's lips stop moving, and her eyes flicker down to my lips. "Tyler?" She whispers leaning in toward me.

"W-what?" I'm attempting to pull myself together, but sometimes Nicole is just so irresistible.

"I... want you." The clouds in the sky darken and rain begins to pound on the both of us as she topples over me. There's a burning passion in her eyes as she pulls on the collar of my shirt and drowns me on her lips. They're inviting and rough and she's trying to unbutton my shirt as the rain pounds on us both in a rhythmic motion.

"N-" I try to say her name but she digs her nails into my arms as a moan reaches her lips.

An amused laugh echoes loudly throughout the trees, and I feel like I'm sucked back into reality. There's no rain, and I sit next to Nicole who finishes her sentence, "It looks great, but I kinda didn't do anything to make it happen. I feel bad you're doing all the work." She bites her lip and I'm so shocked by what just happened I can't move.

'You could have that, you know?' The voice in my head that wouldn't quit laughing at me growls.

'Quit putting shit in my head!' I shout, and my anger almost reaches my mouth. I ball my fists and glance away from Nicole. Whenever I look at her I can't help but remember the passion in her eyes as she engulfed me in the kiss surrounded by the rain."No, it's fine. I love drawing, I-I really do. I-If you want to help, here." I explain as I hand over the paper and pencils, "R-Remember how you drew the f-flower?"

Whenever I'm around her the voice is a lot more silent. Well, Dick is a lot more silent. That name seems to fit him well. I focus on Nicole and how uneasy she looks while her hand trembles. "Here. Try to hold it steady." I support her with my own hand so that she doesn't shake as much. I allow her to guide me most of the time, but whenever she stops and doesn't know what to do I lead her to where the pencil should go.

'Her skin... so soft.' Dick mumbled. 'She's nervous. I can feel it. Stop being weird.' He continues to commentate.

'You mean stop being myself?' I grumble unintended for him to hear but he shuts up because Nicole lets go of the pencil which makes me let go of her hand. She faces me and her gray eyes are swimming with shock and confusion. 'Kiss her.' A voice says but this time it isn't Dick, it's my own.

My lips meet hers in an instant and surrounded her waist with my arms. I held her gently because I didn't want to hurt her. She circles her own arms around my neck and pulls me closer. Her grip on me tightens as if I'm going to turn into dust in her arms or fade away like a dream. I wish to tell her I'm not going anywhere, but I just allow our lips to do the talking.

She pulls back first, and when I open my eyes she's in a dreamy state. My arms remain around her, and I get lost in her gray eyes as they reopen. A small grin tugs at her pink lips and I finally can understand what she's feeling. The kindness, the care, and the gentle way she speaks. The love.

She darts her eyes away from mine and scoots back. I finally let go of her, but just for the reassurance of our touch, I take her hand in mind. "We need to finish that drawing," I say gently.

And for now--just now-- I can forget everything surrounding us.

And more importantly, I can ignore Dick.