Baggage

{Chapter Six}

Chapter Six

Panic.

Adrenaline began pumping its way through Noah's bloodstream. As it moved, each part of his body began becoming paralyzed. Within a matter of moments, his brain became clouded, the fuzzy haze of shock hindering his judgment.

Noah, what are you doing? Shitface, you're engaged! Or did you forget that quickly?

"Shit, Violet, stop!" His voice, although muffled by the kiss, caused the petite blonde to move back. She stared up at the fellow, panting and red-faced. "What the fuck was that?"

Noah was seething. He had just poured out his heart to this girl, and she pounced on him! Did she have no respect for her sister? Wasn't there a girl code that she was supposed to be following? Noah thought sardonically that kissing or sleeping one's sister's fiancee would be up at the top of the "Don't's" list.

"Did you feel anything?" The girl breathed out, placing her trembling hand up to the back of her neck. Sweat formed at her hairline. 

Noah's eyes squinted. Did he feel anything? Well, he had to admit, he now was turned on. But that would of been the result whether he had been kissing Violet or a random stranger off of the street. That was a result of his hormones. But did he feel any connection? When he kissed Shannon, he felt that spark. Tingles spread like wildfire; his knees almost buckled to the floor. Mentally comparing that kiss to Shannon's, he told himself that no emotions were associated with that kiss.

Right?

"No," Noah replied slowly, attempting to express his thoughts in an articulate way, "I...I didn't feel anything."

Violet nodded, slightly wide-eyed. Damn, Noah jested to himself, does she ever kiss guys? Or is she too busy hanging with her cats? She looks like she's about to pass out!

"Well," she replied, "uhh. Then this confirms that our night together meant nothing as well. No feelings means no guilt. It was a simple mistake."

Noah pretended to agree, nodding his head. However, because he had no romantic interest in Violet whatsoever did not make his tryst with her alright. He had betrayed Shannon, and he could not justify his actions.

And he had betrayed her approximately three minutes ago with that kiss.

Even if the kiss was intended to teach him a lesson.

The petite blonde jammed her hand into her pocket, pulling a rubber elastic. Tying up her blonde hair, she shot a I'm-sorry-for-making-out-with-you-but-thanks-for-dinner grin and grabbed her cheap purse from the floor. Without a second glance, she sprinted out of the room, slamming the door shut in a hurry.

Noah stood in the middle of his apartment, feeling as lost as ever.

"I can't believe what a mess I made out of my life. Shit."

And with that, a single tear drop formed from the deep blue ocean of his eyes and made its way down the side of his cheek. Soon, its friends followed, and Noah found himself kneeling on the floor, his hands on top of his face. He wanted to cover his face, cover his feelings, cover the guilt and pain that had been tormenting him.

Sobs began rumbling out of his chest. He desired to stand up, but for some unexplainable reason, his mind was blank. It wouldn't let Noah do anything except cry. So, he sat there, for hours it seemed, pouring out his emotions.

"Goddammit," he weeped into his hands, "What kind of man am I?"