Say Yes to the Dress TomCo

Maybe one shot if it gets love then continue?

AN:(as always) This is cracky as hell so don't expect anything but awkward laughs and gayness.

Disclaimer: *whispers* Hey hey you! Yes you, come on I need to tell you a secret. I DON'T OWN STAR VS. THE FORCES OF EVIL! Bet'cha didn't see that plot twist coming.

Three deep blood red eyes gazed passionately into mine. I groaned shoving the narcissistic demon to the floor. I sat up on my bed where moments ago I had been sleeping peacefully. Only to wake up to Tom intently staring at me. This was not a surprise, I had woken up to the same scene again and again. Each morning, he would just sit there like a creep and watch me; no wonder Star dumped him.

The pesky demon now sat on the floor smirking at me, deep ruby gems boring into my soul and making me want to vomit. I just let him sit there, as was our routine for what felt like years. In actuality, it had been a couple of weeks. All the while, the horned figure had been practically stalking me, watching me with an almost admirable determination. I sighed and cradled my head in my arms. Where the hell had I gone wrong?

It had been an entire year since I had seen the hellspawn, then the idiot showed up three weeks ago wheeling a flaming shrub, an entire rose bush on fire, into my yard. I had to call the fire department! Tom hadn't even bought it, he stole the bush from a neighbor two doors down. I had to pay for it! Do you know how expensive roses are?! Then he just squatted in the house! Anytime I would kick him out, he would teleport back saying weird shit like 'Didn't your parents teach you manners' and 'you already accepted it ya baby'. What the hell did that even mean?

"Marcooooooo...:" Tom whined. I shot him a dirty glare as I got up and started picking out my clothes. The wooden drawer opened with ease. When there was a decent gap, dark blobs flew out of there. Shrieking, I stumbled back falling into the culprits lap. "Hey there honey." the triclops whispered. His breath ghosting over the shell of my ear. Shivers ran through my spine as I gulped. After sitting there, shocked, for what seemed like a longer than the appropriate time, I scrambled off. My attention was instantly on what the hell those masses were. I whipped my head around searching for them. Bats. Bats now clung to every piece of my popcorn ceiling.The rest of them flew in circles, trying to find somewhere to nest.

"What the actual hell, Tom." I seethed. Tom always did weird things like this! Once, I opened up my closet and found a skeleton dancing to Beethoven's ninth. This other time, I went to take a shower and the bath was completely with fish heads! It would have been hell of alot easier to clean up if Star had been there, but she is visiting Mewni for the entire summer. I didn't want to call her and tell her something's wrong and have her cut her vacation short.

While Star was taking her vacation, I had urged my parents to take their own. They had been pretty hesitant, but in the end they chose a cruise to Greenland. Besides, I was only going to be alone for two months and a half... only two months and a half. That would be a lot easier to believe if there weren't disease ridden rodents flying all over my room... wait. Disease ridden! I screamed and threw myself out of the door, slamming it behind me. Great, now my room probably was covered in ebola (yes bats carry ebola) and bat guano. There were three sharp knocks on the door. I quickly opened it and grabbed Tom. Two bats resting on his horns shrieked at the sharp tug. I squealed and grabbed one with each hand, throwing them back into the room. "We need to get cleaned up" I stated firmly.

"About that..." I felt my eye twitch as these words came from the fiend. "If you don't like the bats I am sure your not going to like what's in the bathroom..."

"What the actual hell Tom!" My yells made him flinch. I grabbed his hand and lead him downstairs, during which he still had the gall to intertwine our fingers. A dirty glare was shot, but in the end I just let it slide. I silently hoped demons could get ebola. When I was done, we were out on the lawn. I shook his hand off. He begrudgingly let go, but still whistled when I leaned over to grab the hose. A creaking sound came from the faucet as I turned it on. It was much like the sound that occurred when I sprayed cold water on a certain three eyed demon. We both sat there washing ourselves with a hose and some dish soap.