love notes.

note #8

nov. 21, 2016

my perfect knight.

heh, i like it. should i star calling you that more?

okay, anyway, it's basically 10 pm and tomorrow is our 8 month anniversary. just... damn. 8 months. 8 months of happiness, 8 months of always having someone to go to, 8 months of laughs, 8 months of tears, 8 months of anything you can think of. we have learned so much about each other in the past 8 months, and you've learned all about my past, and you didn't leave me for it.. why didn't you leave me? i'm basically insane... okay, this isn't about me. this is about you. the past 8 months i feel we talk about my problems too much. so, lets talk about you. your perfect hair, your strong legs, and your obsession with thighs. alright, i'm joking, but you do seem to like thighs a lot.

you know, i don't understand why people expect me to freak out about everything you do. "oh no, he talked to a girl. aren't you going to yell at him?" "no, why would i do that?" "because he is yours!" jesus christ, they wonder why they can't last in a relationship! i've ranted to kelli about this so many times. i don't care if you have girl friends. as long as that little space, between the GIRL and FRIEND stays there, that little friend zone, i could care less. you can touch their butt, i don't care. (i mean, they might) you know boundaries, and at the end of the day, everything is fine.

okay, i just needed to get that out. back to the cutesy you. wait, fuck, youre supposed to be manly. um... strong, sexy you! okay, okay.. 8 months. it's been 8 months since you called me your bunny, and how you told me you loved me. 8 months since i freaked out because you told me you loved me. 8 months since i realized i love you. the past 8 months have been incredible. i wouldn't have asked for a different person to spend them with. and i really hope there are plenty more to come. i don't know what i would do if i lost you. i wouldn't have anyone to sit with in two of my innovations classes. i would probably never be more than a day or two clean. you don't understand how much you help me.

so, thank you. thank you for always being there when i break down for no reason. thank you for putting up with my craziness. thank you for spending hours texting me at night. thank you for trusting me with secrets. thank you for loving me. thank you.

you told me to go to bed by 10:30. it's just now 10:10, so i haven't broke the rules yet. i'm tired, trust me, but i want to write this. you deserve it. you have done so much for me and i need to start giving back.

now, don't expect one of these everyday, i get writersblocked too easily. to be honest, i'm just writing everything that comes to my mind. like, i love you. that had nothing to do with the rest of the paragraph, but it was true, so why not write it?

alright, that was cheesy, but at this point, 546 words later, cheesy should be my middle name. ****** cheesy ******. heh, that sounds funny. ***** cheesy *********. heheh, that sounds funnier. probably because you're not cheesy like me, so it doesn't work as well. duhhh!

okay, focus ******. you can do this.

did you know that i would do anything for you? well, almost anything. you know, theres a saying that goes something like "i'd die for you, that's easy to say. we have a list of people that we would take a bullet for. them, a bullet for you, a bullet for everyone in this room, but there don't seem to be any bullets coming through. metaphorically, i'm the man, but literally, i don't know that." (pst its a song, not a quote) well, i do know. babe, i would take a bullet for you. if it meant that you got to live a happy life, even if it meant i would die and you would live your life with a different girl, i would do it. all i want is for you to be happy. and if it was in a moment's thought, your life is more important than mine. and before you scream at me, i'm not putting myself down, this has nothing to do with me. i'm raising you up, above everyone, because that's what you deserve.

10:21. i should probably wrap this up if i am going to bed by 10:30.

so, i guess this is the part where i say the generic stuff. happy anniversary babe, i love you to the moon and back.

see, that didn't sound right, i say "i love you to the moon and back" to my grandmother.

i'm in love with you, *his full name :)*. goodnight (or goodmorning, whenever you are reading this), my charming knight, have a wonderful night. (again, or day.)

10:25. i made the deadline.