Crossdress Love (France x Male! Oc/Reader)(BoyxBoy)

Chapter 10: "'Becaus'e why?"

*Ichika’s P.O.V*
I walked down my street. I was still thinking about Francis’s friendship idea. I couldn’t believe he would be asking me something like that nor could I believe how happy I was for it. Like, what the h*** man?
I was supposed to be a new person now. I wasn’t supposed to feel this way about Francis again. I… I can’t accept his friendship! I can’t accept anything from him ever again!
-***-
If that was the case, then why is he holding my grocery bags for me?
I looked to the side as Francis walked around with a stupid grin on his face.
“Grinning because you’re carrying another man’s bags,” I said. “Gross.”
Francis looked at me with wide eyes. “Hey! We’re supposed to be friends now!”
“Who said that?” I asked. I then sighed as I realized how bad of a person I sounded. Even the normal Ichika wasn’t this rude. “Look, I’m sorry. I… I just… I was having a bad day is all.”
‘More like a bad love life,’ I thought as I sighed.
Francis then gave me a small smile. “It’s alright. We all have our bad days, but we also have good ones too.”
“What was your worst day?” I asked, feeling curiosity take over. Would he say that day? I highly doubt it.
“My worst day?” questioned Francis. “Hm… Let’s say I lost someone I loved very dearly because of my stupidity. They left me because I was a selfish idiot.”
“Aren’t you still a selfish idiot?” I asked. “I mean, you do have a reputation for going out with women.”
Francis sweatdropped. “Yeah, but…”
“But?” I questioned.
“I guess, I just use all of the women to dull the pain,” said Francis. “I really am stupid.”
I then watched as tears began to fall from Francis’ eyes. This caused my own to widen. I didn’t know what to do. I guess jerks can cry too. Maybe Arthur was right…
“Hey, Francis,” I began. “Was…”
Was the person male or female?
“Huh?”asked Francis through his tears,
“It’s bad for a man to cry in public, right?” I asked as I reached up to wipe his tears. “We should head to my place, ‘kay?”
-***-
As soon as we got into my home, I told Francis where the bathroom was so that he could clean his face. I felt bad for not comforting him, but he didn’t seem like he wanted it in the first place. The only thing he seemed to want was the person he had lost. But, it was his fault in the first place.
I had prepared tea for the Frenchman and waited for him to come out. I had accidently made his favorite out of reflex. Usually when these things would happen in the past, I would make some cake and tea for Francis. Then we would just snuggle through the bad things and calm down after a time. I wonder if we had done that back then, would it all have worked out. Would we still be together, or would my leniency allow for the same thing to happen again?
I guess I would never know now.
“You made tea?” asked Francis as he smiled.
“I figured you would need something to calm your nerves,” I said.
I then watched as Francis took a seat and a sip. His eyes widened as he blushed. “This is my favorite…”
“Really?” I asked. “I only added in honey and sugar, plus a pinch of vanilla.”
“That’s…” Francis said, but didn’t finish. He looked too bewildered to say anything else.
“Hey,” I said. “Was the person you loved… Um… Can you describe them?”
“Huh?” asked Francis. “Oh, sure.”
Francis then set his cup down as he smiled. “Now… Where should I begin? Well, they had these big blue, purple even maroon eyes-”
“Blue or purple or maroon?” I questioned. I told him my eyes were blue with a pinch of maroon, back then that is.
“Ah, he would always argue that they were blue with a bit of maroo, but it honestly depended on the lighting. He also had dark brown hair that waved slightly-”
“Wait, you said he?” I questioned.
Francis looked at me with wide eyes. “I did?”
I nodded my head. “Twice.”
“I…” Francis paused. “I… No I didn’t.”
“Why do you deny it?” I asked.
“I didn’t,” said Francis as he looked away. “I simply didn’t say it.”
“Why don’t you tell me then?” I asked. “Was it a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t need to tell you that,” Francis retorted.
“Why?”
“Because,” said Francis.
“‘Because’ why?” I asked. I was determined.
“Because… Because,” said Francis.
“‘Because’?” I pressed on.
“Because I’ve never told anyone else,” said Francis. “So, why should I have to tell you? I’ve never slipped either. I’ve always said, “they”, so why… Why would I slip now?”
“Why haven’t you told anyone else?” I asked. “We’re… We’re you that ashamed of that person.”
“No,” said Francis.
The tears were coming. I could feel them clawing their way to my awaiting eyes.
“Then why?” I asked. “Why can’t you tell anyone?”
“Do you have to know everything?!” exclaimed Francis as he bolted up.
“Yes!” I exclaimed. “If you want to know everything about me, I have to know everything about you!”
“Well, fine!” exclaimed Francis. “I don’t want anyone to know because I was ashamed of myself! The story is so stupid that if I told anyone else other than that idiot Arthur I would die! I can’t stand it! All of the stupid crap I did! I hate it! I hate everything I did. I hate everything I did… I hate myself for doing it… I just, I hate myself. D***it!”
“Francis…” I said. Had he really hated himself? Had he really felt bad? Was this another guilt trip? Was I falling for him again? Glob, Francis!
I sighed as I looked at the blonde man. He was crying again. He never cried unless he was serious, which is why I didn’t want to believe in Arthur. There was one thing I could do, and one thing only.
I walked over to Francis and smiled. I then stood on my tiptoes and pat Francis on the head gently. His lapiz eyes widened slightly.
“There, there,” I said as I attempted to calm him down like I had in the past.
“I think that it’s time for me to leave,” said Francis as he pulled away from me.
“Huh?” I asked as I blinked. “Wait, what?”
Francis then walked away from me and went out the door. Before exiting fully, he looked back and said with a teary eyed smile, “Thank you, Ichika.”
I stared off at my door as it closed. I was confused, so very confused.
I then realized the fact that I actually comforted Francis, and my face turned into a shiny red apple. “What was I thinking?”