Stalker

☆Chapter 1 - Melanie☆

                                                      Melanie

The darkness surrounds my room. Today is an absolutely perfect day. Dark and rainy. Everyone is gloomy and depressed on these types of days.. and its when people's weaknesses shine their brightest. I don't want to get up, but I should.
Today I have to start concentrating on my classmates movement patterns. Its the first day of school, and I need to find out who will try to talk to me, and who will ignore me.
I just get the shivers when someone tries to be nice to me. I will never feel happy or understanding. Never. Some people try, but then they just give up after a while. Im not willing to try hard on something thats impossible.
I just wish that I could sleep forever, lost in a dream, to never surface the void into cold reality again. My whole life is like someone's death bed. I'm different. There's definitely something screwed up about my brain.
I take a quick glance at the clock, and get out of bed, my face emotionless. What should I wear with my uniform today? I'm pretty sure that's what all the normal girls think when they get up in the morning. But not me. Why spend time pondering over something so small? Everything like that just seems so meaningless to me.
I throw on my dark blue silk skirt and shrug into my uniform top. This stuff is so girly. Anyways, I'm not complaining. I don't even know what being disgusted feels like. I get glimpses of the feeling when people try to help me, but that's not very often.
Hm.. breakfeast? I'll just have a huge bowl of my crippling depression. Sounds good. It is very nutritional and delicious.
I glare at the clock, realizing I only have 10 minutes to get out the door. What are my emotions right now? Nothing. I'm sure most people would probably be panicked to get out the door. God, how I wish I was normal.
I grab my gray backpack and keys, and walk unenthusiastically to my car. My car is nice. Its black. Like darkness, and like my soul. The seats are automatically heated and soft. I don't need warmth so I turn it off.
Driving to school is always very intersting. I get to stare straight ahead and push a lever to move foreward.
I pull up into the school parking lot. Ooh, perfect. One open row of empty parking spots near the back of the school. Nobody will bother me here. I get out of my car, and lock it. I notice everyone is wearing winter coats and leggings under their skirts. I'm wearing nothing. The cold and rain doesn't bother me, it actually feels nice. Coldness is pain that brings me back into reality when I'm sinking.
Everyone glares at me as I walk into the school doors. As soon as I step in, heat rushes over me and hardens my soul. Lots of people sigh as they finally reach a place of warmth.
Oh god, I see a girl glaring at me in a different way than the others. She's gonna walk up to me isn't she!
Here she comes.. she must know I'm the new girl. That one word can cause rivers of gossip and descrution. New.
She looks at me in the eyes. Her blonde hair is covering half of her face. I think she's trying to be emo. Ick.
"Uhh hey, aren't you the new girl?" She says to me, trying to be casual.
"Yes." I say back emotionlessly.
She waits for me to say more, but I dont. I'm not having a conversation with someone today, no. Never. Not with this emo-preppy-blonde head.
"Isn't it freezing? Why don't you have a jacket?" She glares at my bare arms and legs. I cross my arms and lean against the wall.
"Aren't you sweating? Why are you wearing a jacket?" I reply too harshly. But I honestly don't care if I hurt this girls feelings, I just want her to leave me alone. Please just leave me alone!
She stares at me, blinks, and walks back to her friends. I can already see the hate and disgust towards me pile up in a huge trash heap. But she left me alone! Woah, I think I'm feeling happiness. Nope, nevermind. I can't feel anything.
What locker did they assign me? Locker.. 786? Okay. Hope it's not next to anyone who's friends with that blondie girl. Or blondie herself. Ooh, I have an idea! I'm gonna give everyone I hate weird nicknames!
I concentrate on the sound of my shoes and look at the ground. If I can't see them, they can't see me. They can go ahead and think I'm weird, or hate me. I honestly don't care. My life is just a giant spinning black hole tumbling towards the face of death.
I almost turn around when I see where my locker is. God, Its freaking across from the GIRLS LOCKER ROOM? Now lots of girls will storm past me. This is absolute HATE central. Why couldn't I have my own private locker in the back of the school like last year? Aghhh..
I open my locker and stuff my books into it without thinking of anything. You know what's sad? I've never had a dream or original idea before. I'm so predictable. I bet I'm just some kind of expiriment. My expiriment would be named: "Will a physcopath girl with a disastrous life stray from her doomed destiny?" Haha. Wow. It feels so weird to say "haha." Because I feel no laughter at all.
  Ding
First period.
After I get everything out that I need for my first class, I open up the schedule that was handed out to every student in the mail on their first day of torture. Oops, I mean school. Not torture. But it's torture for me. Everything is.
My first deal of patheticness is in room 142. Easy enough to remember. I'll memorize the rooms and numbers when I get home.
I'm the first one to enter. Perfect. Now I can get a seat in the very back corner, where nobody should talk to me, where nobody should enter, because my horrible amount of bad energy would surround them in a choking grasp they could never escape.
People start to file in and choose their seats. Everything right now is perfect unless the teacher-
"Okay students," the female teacher chirps. "I will be giving you new assigned seats today! Don't get too comfortable!"
..of course.
Assigned seats? That's what I was just dreading about. But seriously, just because I'm new doesn't mean you have to change everyone's seats! I'm going to have to sit next to someone? Oh god.
"Everyone get up, and then I will give you all your new seats."
There's the death word again. It echoes in my mind. New, new, new.
I stand up and hold my books like everyone else. Everyone gathers near the window and starts whispering with buzzing excitement and fear. I walk over to the side of the room where nobody is standing. A few other people walk near me, but keep their distance. Good. Good choice.
It feels like forever until they call a word that seems vaguely familiar. My name. Melanie. I hate it. It reminds me that I belong to someone. My parents despised me because I was a broken child, and so they put me up for adoption. I've moved to so many places and been to so many different schools that I can't even keep track anynore. I'm an orphan, and always will be. Nobody will ever love me, and I'll never love anyone back. That's just the way my life works. And I always have to accept it. I don't care anyways.
I sit down at my new seat. I look at the seats around me. The people sitting in them seem quiet.
...
Ding
The rest of the period went fast, luckily, the teacher didn't bother to have me stand up and greet myself to all these students. I would die if that happened. I'd honestly kill myself. Well, would if I could. The main reason why I believe I'm some sort of "expiriment" is because whenever I try to kill myself it never works. If I tried to stab myself I just would randomly drop the weapon, even though I didn't move my hand muscles. If I tried to jump off a cliff, my legs would just stop working until I gave up. Drowning? The water would magically drain before I could choke anymore in. Any other ways that you could think of, they won't work either. Maybe I'm just insane, or inside a dream that I'll never wake up from.
I walk back to my locker, head down, staring at the ground. My feet are the only thing that exists, my feet are the only thing that exist, I feel a loud thud hid the corner of my ankle. Then, somehow, I fall to the ground. I never trip. Never. I stare at my feet when I walk too, so I already know someone tripped me. I glare up. God. Someone has their hand held out to help me up. A guy. A guy tripped me just so he could flirt with me? Or does he just hate me? How pathetic. Given a death stare, the guy who tripped me backs away. I pick up my books and, start walking and looking down again like nothing ever happened. And let's pretend nothing did happen. Let's name the guy who tripped me.. conehead. Perfect. God, I already hate everything even more than I already did. Why do people have to interact with me?
...
I don't remember the rest of the day. Too uneventful. Everything is just a pit of darkness waiting to swallow me, and I'm getting closer each minute I spend at my new school.