Revival

8 Why?

I look at her with worried eyes. I see she notices. But what she doesn't realize is what stares behind her. She was right. Looks do kill.

* * *

I let the whole home room incident slip. Maybe there was just something out the window.

Don't fool yourself you know he was looking at you.

I try to listen to myself, but I just wish I could know what it all meant. I know I always ask this to myself, but I can never seek the answers to my ever demanding questions.

The next bell rings and I'm making my way to first period. Everything was going normal until I hear whispers throughout the hall.

"Did you hear she tried to kill herself?" one said.

"No there's no way that's true. She'd never," another replied.

"Well you better believe it. Have you seen the gashes?" the first responded yet again.

I keep walking. They can't be talking about me can they?

"Do you see how disheveled she looks?"

"How could she come to school looking like that?"

I strain my eyes straight in front of me and try to ignore all of the wandering eyes that eventually end up on me. I feel a tear forming in my eye, but I try to conceal it and keep walking. Maybe I was expecting some rumors, although this is too much.

I am now walking at a brisk pace and ignore the silent snickers and sympathy. I just don't need this right now. I bumped into someone along the way,  but I'm not stopping for anyone. As I'm about to walk by, the figure grabs me by the arm. What do they want?

I turn to face Robbie and his face changed from happy to concerned when he notices my expression. He then lets me go and I just keep walking.

Why do guys have to be so confusing? I just don't understand. Or maybe I'm the confusing one. Whatever, I just keep walking.

* * *

It's finally lunch time and I've never been hungrier. The talk around the school about me has really worked up an appetite.

I get in line at lunch and I can still feel some stares. Some people look concerned, others look disgusted, and the rest just don't seem to care. However no one has the guts to come up to me and talk with me. Everyone just observes me, making it seem like they just want to make sure I'm not going to pull out a knife or something.

And all of this talk about me supposedly cutting myself made me think about the night I got these scars. It never occurred to me that I actually cut open a human's arm. Even if it was all for the right reasons, he attacked first. I had no intention of killing the man, but it seemed that he had other plans for me.

I shiver just at the thought and keep walking in line to get my lunch. How can I not act normally when I have hundreds of eyes on me. After being so fed up with it, I blurt out:

"What??  What do you all want from me?"

And immediately everyone resumes their regular activity except for one voice coming from behind.

"I think you definitely know what we want from you Palmer."

I recognize the voice right away and just as she speaks, the eyes return. The voice belongs to Ashley Johnson. Pretty on the outside and oh so ugly inside. She's the "most popular girl in school" according to most people. I say she's a total fraud.

"Yeah? Please enlighten me," I reply.

"Why so sassy? Got someone to impress?" she says with an evil wink at the end.

I finish paying for my food and just walk away. As I'm getting napkins, she brushes passed me and whispers, with a devilish smile, "We all know how you got those scars," and walks away.

I pay no attention to that dimwit and find a seat. Where to sit is he toughest part without Leah. I have other friends or acquaintances I could eat with, but in all honesty, I don't really intend to.

I find Jane and just sit with her. To my surprise, she looks at me, looks around and whispers, "I know you didn't attempt suicide, but I can't be seen with you. I'll talk to you later."

What the hell? She can't be seen with me? Where ever in our friendship did I ever do her wrong? Please, let me know because I truly don't believe I deserve this.

I look around me and I'm just alone. The business of lunch is all around me, but I am in my own world. It feels as if time has stopped and I just want to cry.

I have no friends. No one to lean on. No person to talk to.

No one.

I am alone.

Suddenly, Ashley snaps me out of my day dream.

What the hell is she doing?

Ashley gets up on top of a table and attempts to get the entire cafeteria's attention.

"Everyone, everyone. Quiet down I have a very important announcement. There have been rumors about what has happened to Brynn. I just wanted to clarify the truth for her sake."

Oh, no. I can feel my throat choking up. I'm not ready to hear what she has to say.

"We have all noticed the scars on her arm and face. Yes, it is true she did them herself."

I sense a tear rolling down my cheek. Then another. And some more.

"But the question is why? Well, little Brynn has a crush on Robbie and when she asked him out. He rejected her so bad and made Brynn not want to live. So everyone, please stop the rumors, it's not nice."

I can't believe this is happening. I don't know what to do, how to act. I just run out of the cafeteria and find a girls bathroom.

I just need a break from everyone.

* * *

oh my lord it's been forever. I guess I just sort of forgot about writing and this story. I'm so so sosososososososoososoisgsuh sorry. and also I don't know where I was going with this chapter so I apologize xD hopefully my next chapter will be better but I hope you somewhat enjoyed :)