First love

*song is in bold, you can skip that if you already know the lyrics*

I remember back then when I met you that
I had completely forgotten, when I was around 14
The awkwardness was only for a moment, I touched you again
Even though I was gone for a long time
Without repulsion
You accepted me
Without you there's nothing
After the dawn, two of us
We welcomed the morning together
Don't let go of my hand forever, I won't let go of you again either

I remember back then
We burned up the last of my teen's
Yes the days when we couldn't see an inch in front of us
We laughed, we cried
Those days with you,
those moments are now in memories
I said, grasping my crushed shoulder
I really can't do any more
Every time I wanted to give up
By my side you said
Bastard you can really do it
Yeah, yeah
I remember back then
When I was fed up and lost
Back then when I fell into a pit of despair
Even when I pushed you away
Even when I resented meeting you
You were firmly by my side
You didn't have to say anything
So don't ever let go of my hand
I won't let you go ever again either
My birth and the end of my life
You will be there to watch over it all

•first love - BTS {SUGA}•

This song makes me so happy and sad at the same time because it reminds me of my best friend, the person he was is no longer with me, he's different now. A day never passes that I don't think of who he was, who we were. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't my everything. I miss going to the creek with you, I miss ice skating with you, I miss cuddling under my kitchen table with you. I never trusted anyone as much as I trusted you, now I wouldn't dream of it. I hope I don't change the way you did. I still get excited on the odd days when you decide to message me. I felt like dying when you jokingly said "I guess she's your replacement" it was four years ago but I hear it every single night when I try to sleep and then I dream of our best times, when we didn't fight and when I was the center of your attention because I was selfish and I always will be. I'd do anything for your attention again. You picked me up on my worst days, when I was frustrated and mad you'd give me your blanket and we'd lay on the couch together and watch our favorite shows. You used to rub my back and it was so oddly relaxing. You made fun of me for crying over the lion king even though we saw it a million times. I didn't appreciate it enough until you weren't around anymore. One time you wrote my name in the snow next to yours and you thought I didn't see it but I did. I took a mental picture and every time it snows I recreate that picture. I remember laying together under my kitchen table and you asked if it was okay to kiss me and I said "only if it's a surprise" and you smiled and held my hand. That was the day before you had to leave, and i didn't think it would come so fast. You never did kiss me, no matter how much i hoped you would. I always hoped you would be my first kiss. Unfortunately after you left i had that opportunity taken from me. You never got to be my first kiss, and you never will be able to be. You can be my first consensual kiss, but you never will. I miss you, even if you don't miss me.

////:

I'll probably add onto this st some point

I don't know if anyone will read this, and if you do idk you can imagine it as your otp or someone x reader if you want to idrc lmao

❤️❤️❤️