Aftermath

Chapter 14

"What are you going to tell Hackett?" Ashley asked the next afternoon while dodging a jab Shepard threw at her.

They were both sweating heavily, well into their daily routine of sparring. Despite not having slept much, Shepard's attacks were fierce and focused.

"I'm going to tell him," she was jabbing and advancing on Ash, "that I'm taking a week of shore leave. If he has a problem with it, he can court marshal me."

Ash spun to escape Shepard's advance and got in a good swipe at her leg. "I'm not talking about your little honeymoon, I'm talking about being the leader of this new elite Galactic fleet. Are you going to accept?" They had a quick volley of punches and blocks back and forth and began circling each other again. "And don't say its classified. If I hear that one more time I'm going to puke."

Shepard smiled, "I might say it again just to see that, Williams." She threw a couple more punches but they lacked the sting of a few minutes earlier. She was distracted now, thinking about the question.

"Well?" Ashley prompted.

"I don't know," Shepard frowned. Her focus clearly elsewhere, Ashley made a series of aggressive jabs, clipping Shepard's chin on the last one.

"What's Liara's take on it?" she asked.

Shepard quickly switched her stance and caught Ash with a solid kick to her thigh. "We haven't really talked about it."

Ashley smirked, "Not a lot of talking happening, eh Shepard?"

That earned her a sharp uppercut to the jaw. Shepard grinned, "Smartass."

Ashley raised her hands in surrender and they both relaxed their stances, breathing heavy and dripping sweat. Ash cast Shepard a rueful grin. "You're definitely improving. Almost back to your old self. How do you feel?"

Shepard wiped her face with the bottom of her soaked tank top. "Better. Stronger."

"And the nightmares?" Ash pushed.

Shepard shook her head. Ash nodded. After a moment she changed the subject. "Couple of us are going out for a drink tonight. You should come join us." When Shepard didn't answer, avoiding her gaze by busying herself collecting her things, Ashley pushed again, "They're all asking about you. They care about you. They just want..."

"I'm not there yet Ash," she said, cutting her off more forcefully than she'd intended. She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. Unable to explain. Unable to apologize again. "Besides Liara said she had something planned." She finally glanced up, tentatively meeting her friend's gaze.

Ashley was frowning, studying the look of uncertainty that had plagued her commanding officer since she miraculously returned from the Reaper war. It was an expression that still caught her off guard since she'd never known Shepard to appear anything but focused and confident, outwardly at least. Ash had always looked to Shepard to find her way because her commander always had a plan, a purpose behind everything she did. Now she seemed lost and almost... frightened.

She shrugged, forcing herself to smile, trying to relay her own confidence in the absence of Shepard's. "Maybe next time."

Shepard nodded and managed a grim smile.

###

When Shepard returned to her apartment she immediately noticed Liara was back from whatever business had taken her time earlier in the day. She smiled to herself at the sight of Liara's boots by the door, her clothes strewn on the bed, a pile of datapads on the desk, and the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. The weeks of solitude and emptiness lifted briefly with the evidence of her bondmate surrounding her. The visible, haphazard co-mingling of their lives gave her comfort.