Joy - Joji

I

I'm not drunk enough for this

-
I set my tripod down adjusting the height before I sit myself down on the edge of my bathtub. What am I doing I ask myself, leaning forward to press record.

"Hey guys, I know this isnt something I usually post but I think what im about to do will shape me into the kinda public figure you all could relate to better and on a more personal level while at the same time keeping that well balanced line between comfort and an invasion of privacy." I laugh at myself, awkwardly scratching my head.

"I make videos. videos that relate to myself in a way. Videos starring myself." I react quickly to my words and correct myself, "but it's not me." I take a long breath before continuing.

"I called up Max and told him that I wanted to film a video and needed him desperately for this one part. He agreed eventually once he worked a few things out. Hes flying here soon and ill admit im nervous as all hell. I'm not reveal too much..but I am putting myself in a better place than I was before. Sorry I'm not saying much but.. youll see." I chuckle pulling myself up, placing my hand on the power button.

"Enjoy? Uh..Joji documentaries." I finishes off the video, pressing the button.

-

I walk into a run down bar and grill the smell of alcohol and smoke consumes my lungs as I lead myself over to a stool taking a seat and waiting for the bartender to finish with someone else. I felt almost too aware of my presence. Nothing like a city boy walking into a bar off a empty road. The bartender walks over eventually, leaning against the counter.

"Are you gonna order something?" He asks looking me in the eye. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze, keeping my eyes locked on the bottles behind him.

"Just a beer or vodka. Surprise me." I say eventually meeting his gaze.

"Beer it is."He voices kicking off the counter to grab a glass. I nod reluctantly taking my time to look around. A few people are scattered about, most of them seem to be commoners coming here to drink their lives away. I almost felt welcome and a part of the eerie atmosphere throughout the small room.

I turn back after hearing a glass being set down. I say a quick thanks, placing down the exact amount along with a tip. He nods in return before I slip off the bar stool to find a seat at a small dingy table.

I take small sips focusing in on the quiet song playing in the background, trying not to put myself in a place of regret.

"George?" a thick Australian accent catches my attention quickly, I raise my glass up signaling him over.

He strides over, dragging a chair from another empty table and positioning it across from me. He holds a tight glare, searching for my attention but I refuse to look up. I could tell he wasnt too pleased with me at this point, but screw him right? No. It's my fault he's here and I won't even answer him. I can't answer him. My guilt is too strong this time around. I shake my head going in for another bitter sip from my glass. Should've gotten whiskey.

My actions are put to an end, when I feel a foot drive into my shin. I slam my glass back down before swiftly reaching for my leg. "Ow what the fuck is wrong with you!"

Max's eyes narrow and I'm soon regretting all of the decisions I made in the last five minutes.

"What's wrong with me? You fucking- I fly all the way out to New York to find out youre not there! Then I cant get a hold of you and I'm practically sitting homeless on the street for an hour! Then I finally track your ass to.. where are we!" He yells looking over the small room, only finding the few people around staring directly at him.

I can't help but roll my eyes and continue to drink down the rest of what's left in my glass. I sigh out a reply, "Pennsylva-"

"Pennsylvania!" He finishes ripping the glass from my hand. "I've had enough with this i dont give a shit attitude you're running your life straight into the ground and trying to bring me along for the ride. God i could smash this glass thats how fucking pissed i am."

"Please don't break the glass." The man behind the bar groans. I laugh looking up at Max seeing his jaw clench, turning back around.

"I respect you." Max says placing the glass back on the table. I watch him closely for a moment before speaking up. "You done?" He looks at me, an exhausted expression plays over his face.

"Yeah." He pinches the bridge of his nose before slamming his hand on the table. "How are you? You look like shit, ever heard of shaving?" I chuckle leaning back to enjoy his blunt remarks. "Seriously George, what happened to you?" He questions crossing his arms over the table.

I let my smile fade, shrugging I bring myself to answer. "Im bored Max." He gives me an off look encouraging me to continue.

"I've done everything I've ever wanted to do and yeah theres a bunch of stuff I put off a few years ago that I plan to dig through, see if any of it's good enough to make into actual content. But I need something until then. Experience! I want to do crazy shit but not have to play a character to do so." I shake my head when I see Max's puzzled expression.

"Well," he starts, "what were you thinking. Of.. you know.. doing?" I freeze opening my mouth to say something but closing it soon after to realize that I have nothing planned.

Max stands up and my eyes widen, worried he's gonna leave. Just as I'm about to get up he turns back around, "I'm not drunk enough for this shit." I scoff and lean back into my chair waiting for his return.

This is gonna be a long ass day.

-

Im rewriting this because i feel as though i gave up before it even really got started.