Saktan kita dyan (One Shot)

Saktan kita dyan (No Plagiarism Okay)

♪♬someday someone's gonna love me

The way I wanted you to need me

Someday someone's gonna take your place

One day I'll forget about you

You'll see I won't even miss you

Someday, someday♪♬

Monday ngayon at ito ako nagpapaka-solemn habang ang mga kabarkada ko lamon ng lamon at hinahayaan lang akong naka-earphones.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit tuwing lunes eh nalulumbay ang katawang lupa ko.

Marahil ay may naaalala ang aking durog na puso.

Echos, ang drama ko ne. Sarap lang sabunutan. Pero pwera-biro may Monday Blues ako at pilit kong kinakalimutan kung bakit.

Kasi ganito yan. Nung 2nd yr pa ako sa hi-skul tuwing lunes yan ang araw namin ng labz ko, tuwing lunes binibigyan nya ko ng roses, tuwing lunes pinagluluto nya ko, tuwing lunes manunuod kami ng movies and we would just cuddle. Linggo-linggo yan ang routine namin, hanggang tumuntong kami ng 1st yr sa college. Hindi man kami schoolmates may time pa rin kami sa isa't isa, ewan ko kung pano namin nakaya yon siguro dahil mahal na mahal lang namin ang isa't isa.

Patuloy lang kami ng labz ko sa agos. Ang saya saya namin hanggang sa isang araw (ofcourse monday noon) 2nd yr. nang college. 5 years na kami at naghanda sya ng isang special dinner sa isang mala-fairy tale na lugar.

Everything was perfect... We were perfect. Nagkwkwentuhan, nagtatawanan. Hindi maipinta ang mukha namin sa saya atleast that's what I thought.

The next scene was what every girl would have dreamt of, he got down on one knee, he spoke words every girl would've wanted to hear, "I'll love you forever, labz. Will you marry me?" He asked in the most promising way possible.

Just like any girl. I cried, I wept, my heart was melting... but for the wrong reasons.

The five years we've spent together flashed through my eyes, the love that we were radiating was unimaginable, envyable and yet it felt like it was a routine like what we did was scripted and yet it wasn't. I was not content but I could tell he was, for christ's sake he was on his knees, holding a beautiful ring that was meant for me. And I was... I was crying because I was imagining our future and how normal it was, yes. Normal. I want magical not normal, I know I'm crazy or delusional but FUCK! I want magical. I want it so badly and he wouldn't be able to give it to me.

"Art, I love you, I do" I said, his face was overjoyed he was about to hug me. "But..." I added, he froze. "No."

The overjoyed look on his face was gone, it was now emptiness. The ring, my suppozed ring was now on the ground filling the silence.

Art bowed his head and his tears were also present.

"Jane" he whispered.

"Art, I'm sorry" I whimpered

"Gusto ko talaga tayong maging masaya pe-" hindi niya ko pinatapos.

"Yun naman pala, Jane!!" he shouted. "Eh bakit, NO!!" tanong nya habang hawak hawak ang dalawang braso ko. Ako naman ngaun ang yumuko. Humigpit ang hawak nya sa kin at niyugyog ako.

"Why, Jane?"

"Nasasaktan ako, Art" binitawan naman niya ako.

"I get it you're not ready" he held both my cheeks and smiled at me. "I won't rush us, I'll wait till you're ready" he added then hugged me tightly.

"Art, I don't think I'll ev-" he cut me off again. I think he already guessed what I was about to say.

I'll never be ready.

"Shhh..." he said while looking down at me. "I love you, You love me. The time's just not right" he caressed my cheeks "I know that now, just forget I asked" he smiled. "Please, just forget. Please." His eyes were pleading.

I know that I still love him but I now understand that it wasn't like before. I somehow was forgetting the love that we use to share.

His eyes were still on mine. The desperation was now very clear. He knows that I still love him but it was not enough. Yet he still wants me.

"Jane, Please." He pleaded again now half smiling, and still his eyes full of so much sadness and more.

I smiled too but I know it did not reach my eyes and so did he. "Sige, Art" sabi ko at hinaplos ang tumutulong luha niya. "Pasensya ha, hindi pa ko handa wag ka magalala bukas makalawa magiging handa na ko" sabi ko at pareho kaming ngumiti.

Ngaun 4th yr na ako. Eto nga at nagpapakasolemn diba. Pinipilit pa ring makalimot.

Pinagtitignan ko ang mga kabarkada ko (isa isa take note) at huminto ang paningin ko sa best friend kong si Jude nakatitig sya sa kin. Nagtitigan kami at ngumiti. Kinindatan pa ko ni gags. Suzu si behz parang abno lang.

Tinanggal ko na ang earphones ko. Lumapit naman si behz at umakbay.

"Yari na ba ang ritwal mo?" biro ni gags. Ang ritwal na sinasabi nya ay ang pakikinig ko (FYi para sa mga pagong).

"Saktan kita dyan eh" amba ko.

"Ayan ka nanaman sa 'saktan kita dyan' mo behz" pamwimwisit nya. Pareho kaming ngumiti.

"Kamusta, beh?" tanung nya. Alam kasi nya ung rason behind my 'Monday Ritual' ung buong rason ah. Di tulad ng ibang barkada na kumbaga 'snippet' lang.

"Masaya, beh" sagot ko sabay ngiting aso.

"Weh?" Tumango lang ako. "Sabi mo eh" kibit balikat nya.

Masaya naman talaga ako eh. Isang sem na lang graduate na. Anong hindi masaya dun.

Natahimik kaming dalawa, sinasavour lang ang moment.

"Behz," tawag nya. "alam ko ilang minuto na lang darating na ang roses mo." Seryosong sabi nya habang nakaakbay pa rin at nakatingin sa kawalan. "mamayang lunch naman lutong ulam ang nakaabang sayo" patuloy nya. Nararamdaman ko ang sarili kong nalulungkot ulit. "at pag-uwi may movie nang naghihintay at may ka yakap pa" mahina na nyang sabi. Ngumiti sya sakin ng isang kaaya-aya ngunit malungkot na ngiti. Pinunasan ang luhang hindi ko namalayang pumatak na pala.

"Alam kong masaya ka pero kasi..."huminga sya ng malalim "hindi naman katulad ng kasiyahan mo kasama ko."

"Jude"

"Jane, alam ko mas kailangan ka ni Art, pero hindi porket kailangan ka niya sa kanya ka na"nginitian nya ulit ako. Si behz talaga palangiti kahit anong sitwasyon.

"Behz, alam ko naman na magiging ayos rin ang lahat, magiging tama" hikbi ko. "hindi lang ngaun."

"Kelan?" Tanung nya. "Kasi napapagod na ko, Jane." Patuloy nya. "Tayo... Ako, yun ang tama at sa palagay ko matagal pa mangyayari na maging ako"

Walang imik lang ako sa tabi nya umiiyak na naman.

"Jane, makasarili ako, alam mo yon at pag nagtagal... mawawala na lang ako" nginitian pa rin nya ako.

"LABZ!!" rinig ko.

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at tumalikod. Roses.

"Right on time, Art" sabi ni Jude.

"Right on time".