Mickey's Free

FUCK U-UP

Mickey ran through the hospital corridors at the same time as Debbie who had a baby on her hip and Liam holding onto a loop of her denim jeans. She was already a crying mess so he picked up Liam and they went through the corridors together. By the time they reached the outer room Mickey thought he was already too late. Fiona stood in Lips arms crying hysterically and Carl was sitting on a plastic chair in a daze with V and Kev on each of his side. There was a guy he had never seen before sitting next to Kev followed by Svet. V came and took the baby out of his arms and Debbie came to hug him sobbing. He barely recognised what she was saying as she was sniffling so loud but he heard bits about how sorry she was about him going to prison over Sammy and that he didn't deserve it. He awkwardly patted her head a few times and removed her arms around him turning to Lip for help. Lip came forward and took Debbie into his arms and whispered what he caught was reassurance that Ian would be fine, that Gallaghers where tough.
"Hey man, you must be Mick. I'm Trevor, Ian's Boyfriend' The guy that had been sitting next to V said introducing himself. Ian couldn't help it. He laughed and didn't bother to take the outstretched hand.
"It's fucking Mickey, not Mick" Mickey turned to Lip "are you fucking kidding me? This Trevor? He looks like a Brad" He watched Lip nod at him over Debbie's head.
Mickey shook his head "You let Ian date this dumb fuck? Aren't you meant to be looking out for him or something. Guy looks like a pussy" Without waiting for an answer he turned from them and went looking for the closest nurse and yelled, "Hey, when can we see Ian Gallagher?"
"I'm sorry, doctors still inside. You will have to keep your voice down until then please" she replied trying not to look scared.
Just then the doctor came out and looked at Fiona "He's a bit dehydrated and got a mild case of hypothermia but he should be fine in a few days. We might need to review the meds he is currently taking for his bipolar disorder to make sure it doesn't affect his recovery" Mickey leaned against the wall feeling his legs almost give out.
"What, bipolar disorder?" Trevor said. Mickey looked at him incredulously.He doesn't know, Mickey thought. The fucker doesn't even know.
"When can we see him?" Mickey asked.
The doctor took them all in "It's only immediate family, three at a time should be alright. He's sleeping now, don't be surprised if he doesn't wake for at least another 15 hours". As soon as the doctor turn to Fiona Mickey opened the door and went inside Ian's room. It was dark except for a small light beside his bed. Mickey slowly went over and bent over Ian's sleeping form. Ian's hair was a little shorter than he remembered and with a shanking hand he ran his hand through it. He heard the door open and close and looked up to see Fiona and Lip stand by the door. Mickey turned back to Ian and gently kissed his forehead.
"Mickey?" Mickey froze and looked at Ian who still had his eyes closed.
"Mickey?" Ian said again and Mickey let out a sigh of relief and in the background he heard Fiona sob.
"Yeah Ian, it's me. You're gonna be fine Ok. Don't talk, just rest" Mickey stroked Ian's hair.
Ian sighed "I looked for you everywhere, your brothers beat me up because I refused to leave your house"
Mickey smiled and leaned his face into Ian's neck. "Yeah I know, Iggy told me"
"I wanted to see you, to tell you what happened" Ian stopped and Mickey pulled back to watch Ian. Even though Ian still had his eyes closed he was crying. Mikey wiped the tears on Ian's cheek with the back of his hand.
"Go on" Mickey whispered.
"We had been so happy, just for a moment but it meant so much to me. You were mine and no longer embarrassed to be with me" Ian said. Mickey leaned down and put his face to Ian's chest trying to keep back the sob that was forming in his throat. "And then I got sick, I got sick and I wasn't me anymore".
Mickeys whole body shook as Ian continued. "You loved me, and then I wasn't me. I hated it, was so angry that I fucked everything up. I'm just like my mom. She takes everything and gives nothing. I had nothing to give you". Mickey shook and wiped away more tears from Ian's face and did the same for himself.
"Shhh , it's ok Ian. Just sleep"
"But if I sleep you will be gone" Mickey said nothing "will you stay?" Ian asked eyes still closed but his voice now sounding frightened. Mickey looked at Lip and Fiona, both were now crying by the door.
He looked back down to Ian and bent close to mouth to his ear. "Yeah baby, just rest. I'll see you when you wake up". Mickey bent down and kissed the tears on Ian's cheek as Ian smiled and settled back into his sleep.

When Ian woke next he opened his eyes and winced at the sunlight that was streaming through the window. Debbie had crawled into bed with him, her arm around his waist. He leaned down and kissed her forehead which woke her up.
"Hey you're awake" she said smiling at him only then to break into a sob and hug him. Before he had a chance to say anything she was up off the bed. "I'll go get Fiona".
When Fiona came in she smiled when she saw that he was awake. He got another hug and she kissed into his hair " Jesus Ian, you scared us all"
"I'm sorry" he said his voice low and hoarse. Fiona handed him some water and he drank gratefully.
"Doctors said you can leave In a few days, Lip called your boss. She says to come back when your ready" Fiona said smiling at him again. It was the kind of smile that threatened to break at any moment.
Ian looked down at his hands "Was Mickey here?". He watched Fiona nod. Her smile still on her face but the tears had started to well up in her eyes. They both new his next question. "Is he gone?". Fiona broke into a sob and wrapped her arms around his neck unable to control the sobs that wracked her body. Ian stroked her hair as she cried for them both "It's OK Fiona" Ian murmured.
Fiona nodded and stood back up wiping her tears and taking a breath to clear the pain she felt for her little brother. "Trevor's outside, he's been here all night. Do you want to see him now?"
Ian lay back down on the bed, he turned to the side. "Maybe tomorrow. Can I just sleep for now?" He asked. Fiona nodded and he closed his eyes. He missed seeing her biting her knuckle to stop the sob for escaping again.