Chapter 1

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I woke up to the voice of my cousin Janice, and her boyfriend fighting. Even though me and my other two cousins weren't as close as Jasmine and I, we still looked after each other no matter what. Family was family. They've been looking out for me since I moved with them. I had to do the same since my cousin allowed me to come into her home.

"Bitch, if you don't return my motherfucking money right now, I'm gon beat yo ass silly" said my cousin's boyfriend. His name was Paul. They were together for about 4 weeks. He was tall and buff, with light brown skin and a shiny bald head. As soon as we heard that 'bitch' word, everybody went to the kitchen where they were arguing.

"Nigga I ain't got yo shit and I don't need it" screamed Janice.

"So how my shit missing then, HUH" he asked as he muffed the shit out of her head.

When she swung back and he hit her in the shoulder, the oldest of the boys, Derrick, pushed his mom out of the way and tussled with Paul. Derrick was 20. He was fit but not fit enough to whoop Paul's ass. Paul was buff as hell. As they were at it, Paul got Derrick down and that's when my other cousin jumped in. His name was Dake, pronounced like cake. He was 18. It was then a jump on fight. They was beating Paul ass, so it seemed like me and Jasmine didn't have to jump in this time. Janice was sitting on the floor the whole time, smiling. Them tears she was letting out before was fake, and we all knew it.

This wasn't the first time something like this happened and it wouldn't be the last. Janice was broke. Any nigga that came though always left her. And their reason for leaving her was always the same reason. She was stealing they money. I can't lie though, Janice always had a good eye for the niggas with money. She could get them too. Janice was a beautiful women who was 39 years old and looked every bit of 22. She had all the right things and you couldn't find a flaw on her. One day, though, she gon fuck up and do that shit to the wrong dude, and we not gon be there to save her ass. She always talking about how she want a good man who would give her nice things. But she don't ever give these niggas a chance. Paul was no good though because in my opinion, ANY man that calls a female a bitch, is a bitch.

After Paul got his ass whooping, he left, without his money. As he was leaving, he looked at Janice and she immediately stopped laughing to pretend she was crying again. He shook his head and left out.

"Ma, that's gon have to stop. One day these niggas you keep stealing from gon see one of us by ourselves and beat us up because of you" said Dake. It was true.

"Boy shut up, you don't know what you talking about" said Janice. She knew she was in the wrong and she knew Dake was right. This shit really did have to stop.

"Naw for real Ma, motherfuckers out here crazy as hel-"

"Boy I said shut the fuck up. Do you know how we still living in this house. Because of me. I pay the bills. Y'all don't do shit but sit on yo asses."

"We still living in this house because you paying the fucking bills with the money you stole. You gon get yours one day. Next time a nigga beating on you, we just gon let 'em" said Dake.

They went back and forth until I was tired of hearing it and I pulled Dake into me and Jasmine's room.

"Dake come on now, you know how she is and she ain't gon stop" I pleaded him. "She not gon stop and I know that puts all our asses in harm but just leave it alone and we can all talk about this another day."

"Man I'm not trying to disrespect my Ma but she acting like a thot man. But I understand Carmen. Thank you" he said as he left my room.

It kind of hurt when he called his mom a thot. Shit, I was worst than a thot. Nobody knew what me and Jasmine did. I was a complete hoe.

After all that commotion, I decided I needed to leave the house. I took a shower, got dressed, put my hair up into a pin up and put on some eye liner. I looked myself over in the mirror. I looked real cute with my black harem pants and my black and grey Jordan's with a simple white cropped shirt. I got a lot of attention when I was outside on my block. Nobody from my block knew what I did either. Everybody thought I was just that innocent sexy ass girl, who was hard to get. Which was true, until the night came. Nobody knew about me and Jasmine. We usually waited until everybody was asleep to sneak out and do our dirty work. The earlier everybody was asleep, the more time we had to make money.

I decided to go too my homie Tay house. Tay was gay. His parents surprisingly didn't know. He ain't look gay at all. He just had that lisps and soft dudes have when they try to train themselves to talk like a female. He figured if his parents asked him one day, he would come out and tell them the truth, but since they didn't ask, fuck it.

"Tay, come open the door nigga" I said through the phone.

"Damn bitch don't rush a queen" he said. He was really the only boy I allowed to call me a bitch. Shit the man was gay, he couldn't help it. We had been best friends since the 3rd grade. Nothing could mess up our friendship. We ain't have to worry about all that drama shit about boys or none of that. This was how it always was between me and him.

When he finally came to open the door, he was dressed in a Hollister shirt and Hollister shorts with some gray and white Jordan's. My bitch was always flee.

"Biiiitch, I missed you" he said.

"I missed you too shorty" I said as I spread my arms out for a hug. "What you on today" I asked him. For some reason I was ready to turn up!

"You know Raheem having a party, you know you want to go. I see the way you be looking at him. He is sexy doe I'm not even gon lie to you. Why you don't never show him no attention. He be looking you up and down and I know you been peeping it. So why not try Carmen?"

"You know why Tay, he ain't gon approve of my lifestyle" I told him. He knew about what I did. He and I both knew most niggas wouldn't want me if I tried to show anybody any attention. I'm not the type of person who wants a fake relationship. I want to be real with a nigga if he real with me. But the lifestyle I was living wasn't gonna cut it for a relationship.

"Carmen, you got to try one day. If it ain't with him, then try with somebody else, shit! You know you can't do this shit forever." Tay said.

"TAY! Shut the fuck up and lets do something" I screamed. I really didn't want to talk about me right now. I was really in the mood to turn the fuck up!

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