My Path

                                                                             MY PATH

                                                                      by: alabmemei

                I wonder why fairy tales always have a happy ending. And why my love story was on the opposite side?

       The first time I felt in love was when I was in third year high school. Some people considered that as puppy love because I am too young for that matter but for me, I think, it was my first and last love interest.

       He was as transferee student in our school, we belong to the same class but his popularity spread faster than my ranking. He was instant celebrity when he was awarded as the most valuable player in basketball.  He’s cute, it’s true but he was snubbed. He didn’t lay an eye on each girl who shows their admiration on him, even on me. Even though we’re classmate he didn’t know my name (I guess). He always forgot what my name was. And his eyebrows always crossed with an expression of “I know, I knew her but who is she?” It irritates me but it’s okay, atleast he’s trying to remember who I am.

       Days, weeks and months past, since my surname was next to him I had the chance to sit beside him, he became my groupmate too but he didn’t give a time to chat with me even once. Alright, I made it exaggerated. Maybe he talked to me a number of times asking for assignments or answers in questionnaires and when I replied he was just smile on me while saying, “it’s all wrong.” How could he! He’s asking for the answers but then he had the guts to say that I’m wrong? Oh well, despite of that I constantly replied everytime he asked because it’s the only time that he’s smiling for me. I thought those will be the starting point of our friendship but it ended before it’ll begin.

       It happened that my bestfriend had a huge crush on him. I feel disappointed. She asked me if I had a feelings too but because of her confession, I denied it. And when she asked my help; too much upset pop-up in my heart. I wished, sometimes, I am a vocal person like her and wouldn’t pretend nice just for the sake of their feelings. Because of what I’ve learned, I kept distance to the boy I like… I knew, he noticed it because I started to get his attention whenever I avoiding him. And then one day, he asked why. My heart’s beat became irrational. My mind couldn’t think twice, yet my tongue started to say something horrible. I said, “I just don’t want to be close to you co’z you’re not worth to be my friend.” Could you believe that? I said those words to my crush. My God! I felt guilty especially when he intended to show me that he was hurt. Didn’t he think that I was hurt too?

       Days past, it seems that he recovered and he started to become friendly with our other classmates. Without noticing, we avoided each other instantly. Despite of that, I knew, my admiration for him grew into love. I love him, that’s why I was really hurt when my bestfriend told me that they were now officially couple. It not only broke my heart into pieces but totally grind. I’d got sick not only days but weeks. I asked my mother to put me in other school however she disapproved.

       Day by day, hour by hour, I wanted to cry. I don’t want to pretend anymore but I think, it’s too late because it seems that they’re happy for being boyfriends.

       Year past and graduation came. “At last,” I said, ”my torture to myself will be ended.” At the graduation march, he was my partner. He smiled at me, since our parents were beside us, I pretended to be nice (again), I smiled back but it’s bitter. We were sitmate once more. At the last moment, I decided to fulfill my role as bestfriend. I talked to him… warned him that ‘if he’ll hurt my bestfriend I’ll curse him until my next life. I will never ever forgive him.’ He didn’t promise. He just chuckled. He said, ‘You're the witch of our batch and you will remain a witch forever.’ It was an insult, surprisingly, I wasn’t hurt by the word he described me. I just felt that I enjoyed the way he teased me.

       After graduation, the three of us separated. I entered in different university. I’ve got emails and phone calls on my bestfriend and intentionally avoided the topic between them because I still hurt and I didn’t know why. And now, after eight sacrificing years, here I am at the tailor shop sitting beside my bestfriend’s future husband (for the last time, I guess) while we wait her to finish her gown’s fitting. My heart beats faster and louder. I am nervous and almost deaf until I heard he teased me. He said, ‘I didn’t know that witches get nervous even though they are not the brides.’ Instead to make an argument, I just sighed. I hesitated to talked to him but I thanked him; anyway. I thanked him for loving my bestfriend and keeping our contracts not hurt her. He didn’t reply. He just smiled.

       The reason why I came here at the tailor shop was not because I need to fit the gown but to be with them for the last time I’ll be here. The day that the wedding will be held was also my day of departure. Coincidence? No, co’z I intended it. I couldn’t stand to see that my bestfriend will be married to the man I still love.

       “I wish, you’ll be there,” he whispered. “What for?” I answered in my mind. “to hurt me forever?” If he only knew that I liked him the first time I saw him. If he only knew that I still love him. If he only knew that the witch inside me wanted to go out and snatch him to my bestfriend, if he only knew. Anyhow, even though he knew, who cares? Things didn’t matters because he doesn’t have feelings for me. Even a single beat.

       “I wish, you’ll be there,” he repeated, as if he was trying to gain some guts to mutter another words, “sitting beside me…”

       My whole worlds stop except for my tears that fell down without my approval. And all I can do is to run away, going to the opposite path of a happy ending…