Windgrass (A Hunger Games Fan Fiction)

Twelve: Illness

I caught a cold.

I’m lying in bed, bundled up like someone from the north. My nose keeps running and I keep coughing. My throat burns every time I cough. I feel like I’m being burned alive, but I’m shivering so violently that I can barely move. So many of my written words are scribbled over and poorly written, I’m surprised I can read half of them.

Unfortunately, there’s no one here to take care of me, so I’m fending for myself for the time being. Mom’s at work and has to stay late for a teacher’s meeting. Dad doesn’t get home until late most days (if he’s home early, it’s cause for worry). Rye… well, he’s never around the house much during the day, even though he’s a night watchman. You’d think he’d come home during the day, but no, he loves that tree of his. I really don’t get it: how can he like being so far away from other people? I’ll have to ask him next time I see him.

Barley keeps scratching at my window, but I can’t get up to go open it. I’ve tried using an old golf club to push the window open, but I can’t reach. Curse my short stature!

I’ve read that book from the library twice now. I keep it tucked under a loose floorboard in my bedroom so no one finds it. I’ll probably read it twice more today, because there’s nothing else to do.

“If only, if only, the harvester sighs/the grain in my hands were as soft as the skies/while the birds wait below, hungry and lonely/they sing to the moon, if only, if only.” I often sing the lullaby my mother used to sing to Aisling and myself when we were little. She says it’s from an old, old movie, one from way before the Dark Days. She says the lyrics were changed to match Nine, but no one knows the original lyrics so no truth can be added to the claim.

My mother asked where I went last night, since she came downstairs to find me sitting on the floor by the door, touching my forehead and staring blankly in front of me. I couldn’t reply; my mind and voice refused to work. I finally managed to mumble “Ripley…” she he went to town with it.

“You saw a Peacekeeper?” she demanded. “And on top of that, you went out after curfew?!”

“What does it matter?” I snapped bitterly. “As long as we work like slaves in the fields the Capitol doesn’t care what we do. The Peacekeepers here are far nicer than in other Districts! Of course, you’d know that if you’d bother to look up from one of your textbooks!”

“Do you have any idea what could’ve happened to you?! You could’ve been beaten, raped, even killed! In other Districts, people get whipped, bound and gagged, tortured!! Just because our District’s Peacekeepers are a bit more lenient than in the others, doesn’t mean they aren’t to be feared!” she raged.

“What do you know?!” I was on my feet, yelling as loud as I could. “You’re stuck in a fantasy world where everything’s okay as long as we obey the Capitol! People are dying, Mother! There’s barely enough food to go around, work is miserable, and the Capitol could care less!! Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to even walk around outside?! I know what people are thinking and saying about me. People see me, and they see something pitiful. Because Aisling couldn’t fight to her death and got sick, they think she’s pitiful. They don’t say so out of respect for the dead, of course, but they think that. Because I’m her younger sister, I’m also pitiful for having a sister who couldn’t fight for her District in the Games. Aisling’s death took away o much pride from Nine… and no one will let me forget it!! I can hear them, whispering, gossiping! “Look, there goes Fiore, the poor thing.” “I hope she’ll live up to her sister.” “You mean be better than her sister.” “That’s right. Aisling died because of an illness, didn’t she? Not very heroic.” “What a let-down for Nine. We all thought that because of her frailty, people in the Capitol would sponsor her and let her win.” “She was a great disappointment, I sure hope her sister doesn’t turn out the same way.” It hurts, Mother! It hurts and I’m sick of it!!”

At that point, my head started spinning. The world turned upside-down and went black. I woke up in bed, burning and freezing and unable to breathe properly. I’m utterly miserable and doubt someone will come keep me company.

Nine hates me. And I hate Nine.