TOO GOOD || phan au

|1|

Dan

I stepped into the cool autumn breeze crunching leaves underneath my black vans as I walked. I spotted one of the boys that I'd seen around school turn the corner just in front of me. Phil Lester. He had shaggy black hair with fringe covering his pale face. His blue eyes stuck out under his shiny black locks. I'd seen him walking the halls by himself but he never really talked. Today I noticed him wearing a "Fall Out Boy" shirt. That was one of the things I'd realized we had in common. We both listened to bands like Muse, Fall Out Boy, and My Chemical Romance. Last year, Phil came out as gay and that's when he stopped talking to all of his friends. They disowned him because in our school almost everyone is homophobic. That's why I hadn't came out. But I was starting to think I was ready to.

My mom had already found out I was gay and she told my dad who is also a homophobe. That's when the abuse started. I was 16 and I had just got my first very own laptop. Now I wasn't as smart as I should've been with my history. My mom found countless sites of gay porn in my history. It was never really my fault. I've just never been attracted to girls. I feel like I can understand men better. I knew what went on in a guys head and I wouldn't want to try any of the things in my dirty thoughts with a girl.

I got distracted in my thoughts and ended up bumping into Phil. "Sorry.." I mumbled. Phil gave me a soft look as if he was saying its okay. As he gave me this look, all I paid attention to was his eyes. I knew they were blue but I'd never seen then so up close. They were beautiful.

All through first period my head was filled with Phil. I'd never really seen him until today. My thoughts were cleared as the bell rang. I went to my second period class only to remember that Phil was in this class with me. There was a seat open next to him because his friend Peej wasn't there today, so I took my spot next to him. "Why are you sitting by me?" Phil whispered to me. Hearing his voice made me smile. I tried to hide the smile and just answer the question. "I- uhm. You looked a bit lonely. I figured you could use a friend. I could m-move if you want me to." I almost choked on my words. "Oh okay. Uhm, stay." A soft smile forming on his lips.

I smiled back and thought about him the entire class. I would catch glimpses of him looking back at me and I just blushed. What was I feeling? My thoughts were interrupted when Phil spoke again. "Uhm, would you mind sitting with me at lunch?" I was surprised he had asked that. I smiled and nodded happily. Any moment I can spend looking at Phil is a moment I'll love. The entire day I impatiently waited for lunch to come.

As I walked down the hallway, I saw Phil close his locker. He looked towards my way and smiled. I had never seen him smile before today. I'd never really paid attention to him. But now that I had, I couldn't wait to learn more about him. I walked his way and our arms touched as we walked down the hall. That slight touch sent shocks through my body.

When we made it to lunch, we sat a small table near the back of the cafeteria. We were both pretty quiet so it seemed like the best place. I looked over to see my only close friend Chris waving me to our regular table. I shook my head and saw anger forming on his face. He got up and started walking our way. When he made it to the table, he said something I didn't expect..