Calvin Vail portrays himself as an 17 yr old Lo-Fi Hip Hop artist. He knows that he'll never be in the rap gang, because how real his music is. He rhymes about his spine-chilling past, and horrifying present. You knew this boy since middle school. Y...
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Now to the story...
*Time Skip*
Eric, (Y/N), and I walked in Log Haven. The setting looked decent. A man walks up to all three of us.
"Hello. Would you three like me to show you to a seat?" This man asks us
"Yeah.." I scratch the back of my neck
All of us took a seat at a booth. Eric and I sat beside each other. (Y/N) was across from us.
I sit up in the chair, trying to get comfortable. The waiter heads towards our tables.
"Hello. Welcome to Log Haven! How may I take your order?" The waiter greets us, having out his small notepad
"I would like (insert food/drink)." (Y/N) says
"I would like shrimp tacos, and Pepsi." Eric clears his throat
"What would you like Calvin?" (Y/N) asks me
"I'll just get myself a glass of water." I say, massaging my temples
There was no way I could eat. I was too focused on getting in bed.
"Calvin are you alright?" (Y/N) asks me, probably realizing how tired I was
"Yeah." I forced a smile
Yeah, I did lie..
*Time Skip*
"I'll be seeing the two of you later." I say, feeling as if my voice was fading away
Eric and (Y/N) waves at me. I enter my home. Dylan was slumped on the couch, watching television.
"Hey." Dylan looks back
"Hey." I drag myself to my room
"Dude you good?" Dylan asks as he gets up from the couch
"Yea, I'm good." I kept lying through my teeth
I lied as if it was nothing. Even if I did tell the truth, no one would care.
I enter my bedroom. No lights were on, just darkness surrounding the room. I turn on one of my lights that were beside my computer. Now, I was able to see my room clearer. I unclothe the upper half of my body, leaving me shirtless. I was now exposing all the cuts/scars that were on my body. I turn on my computer, getting my mic in front of me. I made sure to put on my headphones as well.
One of my good friends let me use one of their instrumentals for the song I'm about to rap. I closed my eyes, getting myself closer to my mic. I clear my throat, and start rhyming..
"I'm getting tired of wasting time, watching days go by
I call my frame of mind a place to hide from vacant lies
so if you like to gamble then this is aces high go ahead and fake your cry ill be here replacing mine .. with loads of energy within the entity that has befriended me it sounds just like a symphony within these vintage beats It hurts..
It hurts I limp and weep so you can sink your teeth into a simple kid who trying to find himself a place to sleep
it seems too many times my path has been taken cuz now the wooden bridge that leads across this gap is forsaken collapsing and snapping and breaking
I don't trust myself to cross it right cause office rockers lately been an accurate statement
I'll draw myself a map of this place I have to escape it
I'm getting mad at the pavement for how it's tracking my paces through every absent and place that I've ever tracked in my journey
I'll have my head in a broken state til I'm dead on a gurney fuck it."
I'm tired of wasting time, watching days go..
My voice fades as my song ends...
I look back, seeing Dylan leaning on my bedroom door.
"Um, sorry..Did I bother you?" I ask, taking off my headphones
Dylan walks in my bedroom saying, "Dude, what the fuck? You cutting yourself?"
"I'm not going to answer that question. These scars will tell you though.
Dylan examines the upper half of my body, only seeing scars. My skin wasn't flawless, not even close. It's far away from perfection. I loved carving on my thick skin, leaving marks. These marks represented how much pain I was drowning in. The scars on my back looked like codes. Codes that no one could understand, but me. I was nowhere near normal either.
My lungs were not inhaling the oxygen that was in the thin air. If I was breathing, I was breathing in smoke. I inhaled nothing, but smoke in my lungs. The weed was destroying my lungs each time I smoke it. I was wanting that to happen. There would be a chance I could finally die in peace. The drugs I use, I was addicted to. I was addicted to taking the pain away. When I wake up in the morning, the pain surrounds my body and bones all again.
"Calvin why didn't you tell anyone about this?"
"No one asked." I say coldly, my eyes flickered with coldness
"Why were you trying to kill yourself?" Dylan has his attention on the knife that on my table
"You told me to be happy." I intertwined my fingers
Dylan get on both of his knees. He puts his bare hands on my broad shoulders.
"Calvin.." Dylan calls out my name soft as a whisper
"What?" I sniff, glancing at the floor
"Fucking look at me." Dylan takes my jawline, pushing it towards his face
"Stop doing all this." Dylan tells me
I push Dylan away from me saying, "Wow..Like that's going to fucking help. Get the fuck out my room please!"
"Calvin I'-"
"Just get the fuck out." I yell
Dylan gives me that look, before leaving the room. Worst part of all this shit is, he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why there are scars all over my body. The knife on my table, yearning for me to stab it in my chest.
I looked in my drawer, taking out the weed I stored in. My trembling hands lit it up, smoke was filling back in my lungs. I get in my bed, turning off all the lights. I close my eyes, continuing to smoke. I was needing to get away from reality.
I was needing to fall asleep. Fall asleep forever. Not wanting to get out my bed. It would be nice if my eyes were shut, forever. My heart stops pumping blood. That'll be the end of me. I had the side of me, wanting to make others happy. The other side of me was wanting to end everything. End the bars that I spit from my mouth.
The only nightmare I always have is waking up. I'm knowing I'm living. That isn't what I want. I want to dead, away from this cruel world. That will be when I'm finally happy.
My only wish is to die, getting away from this sickened world..
I would thank the so called God because that would be all I ever wanted..I'll finally believe there's a God if he lets me be where I suppose to be..
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