161101

pt.3

Back then when I fell into a pit of despair...Even when I pushed you away, even when I resented meeting you you were firmly by my side. You didn't have to say anything so don't ever let go of my hand. I won't let you go ever again either

-

Someone knocked on my door. Honestly it was more than just knocking. Fists bumping on the half decayed wooden door of my basement house. I feared to open the door but a voice deep inside me, which I buried desperately over the years, told me to go and open the door. I was completely lost and trembled next to my bed. I was rubbing on the mug handle and felt my heart racing faster and faster as if a car was on its way to crush the wall infront of me. The loud beatings stopped. I got up from the floor and opened the curtains. Nothing. Just darkness and the dim light here and there. With cold hands I slowly opened the window to stick out my head.

A loud crack boomed through my right ear and I jumped up in anxiety. Burst opening my door like that...I was confused for a moment but the loud and impatient steps getting closer to my room left me with unexplainable feelings of captivity and final relief. „WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" He shouted throughout the whole place. The mug in my hands fell automatically down and shattered into pieces. I felt the rising heat of my face and clinged to the blanket around my shoulders. His foot steps got closer and closer and there he was standing infront of me in the door frame of my room. He gasped my name in a speeding tone and ran over to me.

How long has it been? Two, three or four years? I didn't know anymore. I just knew that I secretly longed for this moment in my most hidden wishes from myself. No, I wanted it more than anything else. But I couldn't express it that way. I gave all of me to him. His scent was incomparable to anything else I had sensed to fill that spot. His slim and strong arms around my small posture were irreplacable as well as his raspy voice when he was filled with anger. It was time to give him a response. I pulled out my arms from his tight embrace and placed them around his neck while burrying my face into his shoulder. I murmured his name under my breath and was infatuated with his movements over my body. We stayed in the same position for a long while and enjoyed every single moment of it. No words were exchanged until he started to talk. He played with my hair with the tip of his nose and left soft kisses all over my head. It was an experience that even the term heaven could not discribe. „And? Was it as tough as you have thought it would be? Was is that hard to see me again? Did we not promise each other that our goodbyes were not valid until forever?" Little warm drops were poured over the bare skin behind my ear. He was crying. I began to cry too. I did not know what to say and stood silent. He continued. „After I was able to contact you again you left no traces in the things I could find you. You left. You left me. You did not trust me, right? But look. Here I am now. Does this prove that you were wrong? I've found you and you are in my arms again. My long journey of finding my flower has finally ended. Damn it...Tears don't want to stop." He chuckled shortly and sobbed while doing his significant noise with his nose. I loosened my grip from his neck and he let go of my waist and back by himself. „It's actually my turn to cry. The last time you were crying too and I was just coldly standing there watching you go. That's not right. Stop crying and let me show you how grateful I am for you finding me." My cheeks became a flowing river of my tears and I was urging a smile but my apolegetic and regretful heart wanted to wipe out that smile. Suddenly the song Paper Hearts was playing through my head and I looked into his eyes. „Don't think I would just forget about it..." I whispered. A tight knot was in my throat and no further words escaped my mouth. His eyes were reading the story behind my tears and he gave me the most understanding look. „Don't be afraid. Nothing will change at all. We will continue living like we did before and never ever seperate again." He pulled me into another tight hug and stroked my hair. I kept on crying and hold onto his jacket. He pulled away shortly and cupped my face with his now warm hands while pressing his lips on mine. Sweet heaven, how much did I miss you? I did not want to part from him and was tiptoeing to deepen the kiss. He moved back and had a huge grin on his face. „Hey...I was not expecting this much. How about we continue this in bed?" My eyes widened at his sudden words and made me flinch. He giggled. Putting his hands on my shoulders he locked his eyes with my glance. „What? Did you think of indecent things right now? Tsk tsk tsk...That won't do. How did you become this horny over the years?" I gave him a disbelieving look and punched his chest. My tears stopped and I had to laugh. I covered my face out of embarressement and let him join my laughters. We ended up cuddling under the blankets of my squeaking bed.

He was right and yes we were able to continue from the moment we had stopped. We chatted until dawn and answered each others questions. It was fascinating. I have never felt alive like that in my entire life. The moment I felt totally tricked was when he told me that his band member, Jeon Jungkook, wrote down his number while I thought it was Jungkook's. He told me that Jungkook has recognized me by my name, my symptoms and my way of talking. Back in time Yoongi shared a lot of memories of us with his mates and could not stop discribing me to them. It was such a coincidence for us to get in contact like that again. He did not let go off my hand and kept my body close to his' in afraidness of me running away. I had not such intentions and wanted to believe in the reality I was living in once again. Min Yoongi, or how his stage name was now, Suga came back to me. Running, not wasting any single possibility of finding me. He exceeded my expectations and brought our relationship to another level. I was sincerely moved and appreciated each breath I could share with him. My love turnt back, my first love - my last love.

We both fell asleep around four or five in the morning. The moment I opened my eyes I felt at peace. I felt freedom and tenderness. And I still felt his tight grip on my hand. He was laying next to me like a sleeping beauty. Suddenly the thought of having physical contact with him urged me. I kissed the knuckles of his pale hand and took in his captivating scent. I moved closer and pecked his lips multiple times. Each time I pulled back and took a close look at his face to not miss out any single details. I found joy in studying his being and cared for him like an artrist cares for his invaluable pieces. As I was about to get off the bed I heard his husky and seducing voice. „Where do you think you are going? Don't you know what we always did before? The person who wakes up first sings until the other one wakes up too..." He grabbed my arm in a strong manner and put an end to the distance between us. I was clued to his body and could not move an inch. „I will go back to sleep now and then you have to wake me up, okay?" He said in a quite tone next to my ear. „Sleepless nights I had to go through because I was afraid to death that I would not wake up to your smoothing voice...It was more than sleepless nights. It was a nightmare. Please, now...wake me up." Chills were running through my spine and my heart stopped beating while he was ending his sentence. He took me out of a coma so now I had to wake him up from a nightmare. I hummed an intimate melody and went on with lyrics I started to remember from our past...Music and the piano were the symbol of our love and they were burning in passion now.