Lost girl

All alone

So years past and things got a bit easier. Until me and Becca hit highschool. Charlie was doing great. He joined so many sports and had so many choices for college. I always knew Charlie would do great things , but when I got to highschool my life started falling apart. Becca was two years ahead of me. And she wasn't doing good. She got into drugs and went to parties about every weekend. Sometimes she wouldn't come home and just disappear for days. We don't know where she went or if she was even safe, but she would always eventually come back just she was either high or drunk. So my first day highschool wasn't that bad Until I just started having anxiety about everything. I started skipping classes , I wouldn't hand in my work. And then I just stopped going completely. We were 3 months into school and I've only went a month of it. I tried to go as much as I could , but I couldn't do it. I already felt insecure about myself at home so why go to school and get judged even more? I know my education is important , but I couldn't handle it. I talked to my guidance counsellor and my teachers about it and they just brushed it off and told me to start coming regularly and that nothing would happen. Well that's not true cause a lot happened. I started coming back it wasn't easy at all. I had absolutely no friends. I never tried to socialize either cause I feel that I'd say something weird and blow it. I was completely alone. People made fun of me everyday about how I dressed and how skinny I was or just because of  the way I looked. One day I was walking to my next class and some girl was getting books thrown at her by some "popular girls" so I went up to the girls and told them where to go. They walked away mumbling about me and I really didn't care because I was used to it. and so I helped her up and we started talking. Her name was Mary. And Mary and I became friends. We got along really well. School got a bit easier knowing I had a friend , unfortunately that didn't last long. Mary committed suicide. I knew she had it hard.  Cause she told me how her dad beat her and her mom. She also got bullied really bad.What made it worse for me was that I was the one who found her dead. I found the note she left us and it basically said that I was the best friend she's ever had and that she was thankful for me , but that she's sorry she just couldn't take the pain anymore. So with my bestfriend gone. My brother leaving for college in a couple years. My crackhead of a sister who's never home and my mother who's also never home because she's always working. I was completely alone again.